Rum, Tar, and a Whole Lot of Letters
by Worldsweaver
Summary: Finally! FF now has a time machine that allows you to send your letters back in time to Pirate!England! Try and befriend this foul-mouthed scorge of the seas.  Rated for your imagination and Iggy- being Iggy. All OC's and parings accepted. Now write!
1. Chapter 1: He's a Pirate

'ello 'loves,

As you might have noticed recently a lot of fanfictioners have been forcing a nation/country/landmass into slavery and making them write letters for others enjoyment. Now I'm here to say that Worldsweaver has me tied to a chair and is making me respond to you landlovers.

So don't be afraid mate- I won't bite... Well, unless your France, or Spain then prepare for me to slice you with my cutlass. Savvy?

For his majesty the king, King William the third.

In the year of 1691,

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>A pirates on the bandwagon! EEP! SEnd your letters in to the scorge of the seven seas and see how he replies~ All OC's, parings, etc accepted... By me at least... I don't know about Arthur though.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: New York 1

**Thank you Chandinee Richards for being my first reviewer! You get my undying gratitude~**

* * *

><p>Iggy,<p>

WHAT! You're a pirate? I always wondered where you got your stories from...

Anyway, I'm the one and only New York!

Tell world not to treat ya too hard. can't have ya dieing on me!

Mucho love,

Elena Jones (New York)

* * *

><p>'Ello lass,<p>

Oi, my name isn't 'Iggy', It's England. Get it right, dove.

Why do ya sound so surprised? I'm still makin' stories too.

I know who you are, your Thirteens girl.

Thanks. I wish she'd actually listen the hag. *gets hit in the head with a shoe*

Bloody hell girl, whats with the Spanish?

Arthur Kirkland/ England


	3. Chapter 3: Sicily 1

**Thanks again Chandinee for writing in as Sicily~ Chee hee hee I'm slowly gaining followers...**

* * *

><p>Ciao Arthur,<p>

I'm Sicily, the island(s) off the coast of Italy, or the youngest of the Italian siblings. I was just wondering how you were doing since we last met.

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Bloody hell it's you,<p>

Aye. I know who you are love. I don't need clarification. If you and that idiot Italy are writing to take back America and name him Columbia it isn't going to happen. Savvy?

I'm fine, I have been privateering off of Spanish and French ships. Recently there was a fire- that was annoying and painful but I'm fine now. How you been of late?

Arthur Kirkland/England

**A/N Back then England was in complete denial about being a pirate, so I'll be referring to his pirating as privateering.**


	4. Chapter 4: Sammakespancakes 1

HOSHIT IGGY!,

Um... hi... uh... -scratches head- dude I have no Idea what to say to a pirate. Oh except one... you are one drop dead sexy pirate!

dude 1691...? really... your old Artie.. i-I-In a good way of course!

With love and chocolate,

Sam-makes-pancakes~

* * *

><p>Sam-makes-pancakes,<p>

Oi, what you be doin' with a tongue like that, lubber? Say something like that and again and I might just 'ave to cut it out.

And will you people just belt up if you continue calling me Iggy.

…. Are you suggesting something of me.

Ha, after hearing you speak of my age- you humans hardly live long enough to wast you days sitting around.

Chocolate?

Arthur Kirkland/England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Chocolate: why Iggy didn't understand the chocolate statement was because back then (and until the later 1700's) Europeans didn't like chocolate. I know it sounds strange but here's why: **

**1: Cacao is what chocolate is made of. Unless sweetened and milk/creamer is added it is bitter and only has that chocolatly taste without the sweetness.**

**2: Your a Mayan/Aztec, your about to become a human sarcfice. Would it cheer you up if you were given a chocolate drink? What about if it had the blood of the last human sacrifice added in for a human flesh kind of flavor? Yeah. Thats what I thought too. I think it would put the Europeans off a bit. But feel free to leave your answers in the review box thingy. I'd be interested in hearing how many of you still have yet to let loose your inner cannibal.**

**Bye!**


	5. Chapter 5: New York 2

Uncle England,

But I like Iggy. It's cute.

Because you never told me. I don't know about the other colonies.

Thirteens...oh, you mean America.

I wouldn't insult her. She has violent tendencies. :)

Just something I picked up over the years. Si l'espagnol qui vous dérange, je peux parler en français. Serait-ce mieux? (If Spanish is bothering you, I can speak in French. Would that be better?)

beaucoup d'amour (much love),

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>My niece,<p>

I don't bloody care if you like Iggy better, it's not my name.

I know there are more than thirteen now, but it's just a nickname that stuck. *shrugs*

A-aye. I have found that out.. *rubs spoon shaped bruise on his neck*

Neither. Both countries can go down and meet Davey Jones himself for all I care. The English language shall always reign supreme over both.

….

Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN What do you think? :3**


	6. Chapter 6: Sicily 2

Uncle England,

But I like Iggy. It's cute.

Because you never told me. I don't know about the other colonies.

Thirteens...oh, you mean America.

I wouldn't insult her. She has violent tendencies. :)

Just something I picked up over the years. Si l'espagnol qui vous dérange, je peux parler en français. Serait-ce mieux? (If Spanish is bothering you, I can speak in French. Would that be better?)

beaucoup d'amour (much love),

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>My niece,<p>

I don't bloody care if you like Iggy better, it's not my name.

I know there are more than thirteen now, but it's just a nickname that stuck. *shrugs*

A-aye. I have found that out.. *rubs spoon shaped bruise on his neck*

Neither. Both countries can go down and meet Davey Jones himself for all I care. The English language shall always reign supreme over both.

….

Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN What do you think? :3 Oh, and if you guys want awesome pirate-y music to go with reading these pirate-y letters. Go to youtube and look up Abney Park. I would listen to Wanderlust, or Clockyard, or any of them. It's steampunk, and awesome. (both hetalia and Abney Park are not owned by moi. just to get that clear.) **

**Davey Jones: Most of you have heard of Pirates of the Carribean, Davey Jones is the guy with a tentacle beard and comands an underwater ship. Yeah, well in reality Davey Jones was a pirate ghost story/religion to some people, Davey is basically the grim reaper. And his locker (Davey Jones Locker) is basically pirate afterlife. **


	7. Chapter 7:Sammakespancakes 2

Igg- I mean... England~?,

'Lubber'~? O-Oh ok Mr. Kirkland... I-I wont say it agian... for now hehe. Oh and just wait until America wins his- oh wait... bad Sam don't do that to poor Iggy! uh nevermind... oh do you see fairies~?

What do you meen by that... suggesting... I was stating~!

ah, but with little time we have we make the best of it. Heh, expecially when I spend my time breeding Jack Russles~!

Oh God... you don't know what chocolate is... i couldn't live without it!

With love and CHOCOLATE,

Sam-makes-pancakes~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

What are you talkin' about lad? Spit it out. I can't understand you when your babbling like a chicken.

And what does America win?

Ha, aye I can see faeries mate. Only gifted people can see faeries.

… What the bloody hell is a Jack Russel?

And what is chocolate to you? It's what savages eat and drink.

Captain Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Lubber: you know in those old books/movies where pirates refer to non-sea-men as landlubbers or landlovers? Well, lubber is basically a lazy pirates short-hand for landlubber.**

**England: I-I am not lazy, wench! **

**WW: Don't test me...**


	8. Chapter 8: New York 3

Uncle England,

Ok, fine. I'll attempt not to call you Iggy. No promises though.

Whatever. I just wanted to make sure.

he he he.

Davey Jones, no relation to me I hope.

Inglese può essere migliore, ma spagnolo e francese sono tali lingue belli no? Dopo tutto, tutti e tre sono lingue romanze.(English may be better, but Spanish and French are such beautiful languages no? After all, all three are romance languages.)

beaucoup d'amour (much love),

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>Love,<p>

Aye, you better be good at remembering then. Or else I'll kill Bruce... Hehehe.

… Has the wench ever smacked you before? *insert an angry scream from Weaver and then England gets his face smacked off*

Will you stop speaking gibberish! Bloody hell woman. It's driving me mental.

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Love: love isn't a term saying "your my love" it's more of adressing someone you um... how to explain.. think of it like the word Dear. **


	9. Chapter 9: Sammakespancakes 3

Iggy,

Doesn't 'lad' mean.. like a boy... -cries a little- but I'm a girl!

A-America wins... -hit over the head by a frying pan- Owwwiee... -rubs head- Oi, nevermind... just wait until the 4th of july 1776... uh I hope that's the right date... Bloody wanker... Anyway~!

I see unicorns and flying mint bunnies~!

... oh my God... A Jack Russle is a type of dog. It was breed to do stuff like rabbit and squirrel hunting. You want one, I have a new litter~!

Chocolate is food for the Gods... It is just... yummy~! as for drink I don't like drinking it ^.^

Why don't you visit America? He misses you and feels lonely.

With love and puppies,

Sam-makes-pancakes~

P.s. I'm a bloody girl! I have boobs and everything!

* * *

><p>….. Oh.<p>

Sorry lass...

Oi, when did you suddenly become British? And what does Thirteen win? You haven't answered me wench.

Oh you see them too? Aye, there every where. Guess everyone else is just to dim to not see them.

Nay, I don't want a dog. They take up space and food on a ship and don't do anything. Cats on the other hand are marvelous.

I think were talking about different things lass; Chocolate is a foul piece of shite.

And I want to visit America, it's just the bloody Spanish keep on getting in the way. I already sunk his armada. Now why can't he just bugger off.

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Gracias to all the awesome people wrting me letters~ **

**But here is Iggy's problem with dogs if you don't know about it: Dog's (other than for eating) didn't have much use on a ship and took up space and food. Cat's were prefered because they could feed themselves off of hunting rats and such on the pirate ship that caused plagues and other unfriendly stuff.**


	10. Chapter 10: Sicily 2 sorry

Ciao Arthur,

Well, you sound happy to see me.

Good. Most people forget about me. I'm not writing to take back America. Not promises about my fratelli though.

Eh, same old, same old. Tired from work. I could sleep for a million and one years. And France (il bastardo) has been sneaking around my house again. You would of thought he had enough of me already.

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>'Ello Love,<p>

I'm overjoyed to hear from you.

Oi, what they doin' forgetting 'bout you? And good. He bloody better not mess with English territory.

That French bastard. Just give him the tar n' feathers and then set him loose on the streets.

Captain Arthur Kirkland (I recently got a ship)

* * *

><p><strong>AN History time~! Tar and feathers: a really humiliating and nasty way to die- in which the preson has melted tar pored on them, then a bunch of chicken feathers to give 'dramatic' effect. Most people didn't live long enough to see themselves look like a chicken because the boiling tar would have melted their skin, hair, anything else it could melt before it could down into a hard shell. **


	11. Chapter 11: New York 4

Uncle England,

*holds Bruce close* stay away from my lobster dude!

Yeah, I have.

Fine, I won't speak gibberish. I wasn't speaking gibberish, I was speaking Italian.

beaucoup d'amour (much love),

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>Dove,<p>

Fine. I won't eat the bloody crab. *mutters* It'd do the world a right good favor though...

Bloody hell, Weaver's like a banshee or something lass..

And I knew it was Italian, just please speak the Kings English.

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England


	12. Chapter 12: Japan 1

**Thank you Suboi Ari for writing in as Japan! And I don't mind two people at all~ Chee hee hee... Sorry 'bout the random updates though. There kind of out of the blue. ^_^;**

* * *

><p>Asa-san,<p>

Ogenki desu ka? It has been quite some time since we have had any correspondance. I have heard of you starting to write letters and I wished to restablish or reconfirm our standings with each other.. As nations.. and perhaps.. on a personal standing as well?

I-I do admit, you look very, ..ah, attractive in your pirate clothes. P-please keep up the hard work. Ah, excuse me if I have offended you. I only wished to complement you.. Ah! F-forgive me for being so bold! P-please excuse me for ending on such an abrupt notice.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Japan,<p>

...If your askin' how I be faring, I be faring well. And how might you be? And aye, that be correct. It has been awhile. If you be looking for a friend.. I'd be happy to help out mate.

Well thanks lub, you don't look half bad yer-self in that kimono. And your forgiven. I have heard worse comments come out of a clam though- so don't fret.

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England


	13. Chapter 13: Sam MP 4

Cap'n Kirk,

Its ok... It's just that 'Sam' Is short for 'Samantha' Haha

Well, My dad's side where all British... but hehe... My mom's side I'm American Indian, Irish, And French/German~! America.. h-he wins h-h-his... um... He wins... ugh I cant say it because you might change it! then I wont be here! then that would suck!

I-I Don't know... It's starting to freak me out... there is a freaking unicorn sitting in the corner of my room... just... staring at me... How do you kill a unicorn~? Or how do you get rid of it...

Haha~! Cats? Those devil things eat my Puppies dog food? -.- pfft... I hate cats... You can actually get food if you use a good dog.

Haha it's better then the food you cook...

Can I help you beat him up? My home is losing faith in you and your busy with Espana. Bloody dolt... Ugh. Dammit.

With love and chocolate,

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

Ah.. I see. Sorry for the mix-up love.

Have you gone barmy or something?

Don't kill the unicorn! That'll bring you bad luck. *spins around three times then spits on the ground* You gotta be careful- just give it a carrot or something.

Cats are better. They eat vermin, and are easy to care for- they also don't pee on everything and everyone.

I-I don't know what your talking about. No one cooks on a ship. You really are mental aren't you.

I already sunk his beloved armada. But I'd be happy to beat the devil himself out of that wanker.

I DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE.

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Pirates (and most sea-going people) at the time were extremly superstitious. So yeah. **

**If your still reading, HI!**


	14. Chapter 14: San Marino 1

Dear England,

Um, hello. You might not remember me (you, being your pirate self and all), but I'm San Marino. My real name is Marianna, and I'm the older sister of Feliciano and Lovino. If I were talking to the modern you, I would've cussed you out already. But, I'm going to tread carefully with this. So... yeah. Oh, I know! Erm... how many ships have you pillaged?

Sinceramente,

Marianna Vargas, San Marino

Dearest Marianna,

* * *

><p>'Ello poppet.<p>

Um. I think I remember you. Yes, I think I do.

Why- This is modern times dear! It's 1691! This is the height of modern technology! Ha, so why would you curse at me love?

Ships? Oh I don't know, in the dozens somewhere.

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you Nutty Nerd for writing in as San Marino!~**


	15. Chapter 15: Prussia 1

Yo captain,

I need help!

I Have a Major crush on a Certain Pasta Loving Italian, who might like my bruder, i need advice on how to get him, and not get shot in the process. if you help me i will send you tons of rum

The Awesomeness Prussia/ Gilbert

* * *

><p>Prussia,<p>

Pfft- bloody hell, it's you.

Hm.. Well, I'm not the romantic kind. But if I think I know the man that you are thinking and you think that I am thinking of the man we are thinking of and then we both think hard on thinking of the man we are thinking of. Then that makes me think that thinking about confessing your love to him will probably make him tell your 'bruder' and then he will thinking that the Italian is afraid shoot you. But thinking logically of the thoughts of love is like trying to think of a way to make people fly- completely preposterous. Savvy?

Hopefully that helped ya mate,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN AGH- MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE WITH CONFUSION... Meh. It was delibratly insane. But thank you savannahamminga (awesome name by the way) for writing in as his awesomeness Prussia! **


	16. Chapter 16: Bristol 1

Dad

We need more rum,see *holds up empty bottle of rum* Wait a minute...why am I writing to you when we are on the same ship? Also I have spotted a Spanish ship on the horizon, we are preparing to attack. We await your orders.

Love Edward Kirkland (Bristol)

* * *

><p>Edward,<p>

Bugger, why is the rum always gone...

Well, turn 'er till were facing the ship port-side to star-board then hold 'er steady until she gets in firing range.

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you minipeacemonkey for writing in as Bristol~**


	17. Chapter 17: Blarmey Imp 1

England,

How have you been lately? Very ordinary question, but why not be polite? I'm curious, what is the best part of being a pirate?

Regards,

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

I've been farin' well, and you?

The height of piracy... Well for one thing I'm a privateer, not a pirate. But if I was a pirate I suppose it would have to be the freedom, I mean, you have to obey your captain n' all but with out any higher master to tell ye what be done correctly I'd think that be pretty nice.

Aye, my regards also,

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thanks to whoever wrote in as Blarmey-Imp! Poor Iggy's in denial about being a pirate.**

**P/England: I-I am not a pirate, wench! *gets hit with wooden spoon***


	18. Chapter 18: Sicily 3

Ciao Arthur,

I'm sure you know Romano. Because he represents the south half of Italy, people tend to forget I exist. Almot like canada.

Tar and feathers? I gave up doing that a while ago. That stuff hurts to heal from. I was just thinking putting something nasty in his wine.

Congrats on getting a ship.

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Love,<p>

Of course I know that wanker- he's the obnoxious one who swears like a sailor... Who's this Canadalad you speak of girl?

Oi, what do you mean? Tar and feathers is the big thing everywhere? What time period you living in girl, 1329? Aye, good idea. That frog loves wine. I'm surprised he hasn't turned red or purple yet with the amount he consumes.

Thanks dove,

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN History lesson! (during summer of all times...) Coffee: Coffee was like chocolate, it was a new world item that the Spanish stummbled upon when they found they found the natives chewing and grinding the beans. I think (think not nessicarilly know) tea was introduced by the Aisian traders back in the 1100's. But I'm not quite sure about that. **

**Yet another (random) fact: Marco Polo, the two Italian guys who went cross continent to trade with the Mongols, Chinese, and others I don't mention brought back: Ice cream, and I think noodles. So yeah. No matter how much Italy claims he invented the noodle he isn't right. **


	19. Chapter 19: Evangeline 1

Dear Sir Kirkland,

How are you faring?

First of all, I would like to say how excited I am to talk to my very own country back in his privateering ages!...I'd also like to say that I hath nary a clue how to write to thee.. Eh, never mind that!

How is the tea? I believe it was introduced to Europe in the late 1500's, though I may be wrong.

Respectfully, your (future) citizen,

Evangeline Noel

* * *

><p>Missy Evangeline,<p>

I be farin' well lassy, how might you be then?

Ha, I be far from any one's country other than the king 'imself. We still are in the golden age of piracy though... Or are ye be using witch trickery?

Tea? The tea is nothin' be in comparison to how the rum is. And I think what you be thinkin' of is coffee girl. Ick, it's almost as bad as chocolate if not worse.

No need for such refined manor of speech lass, yer talking to a privateer.

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN See! Those facts weren't completly useless! Thanks 'Eva N-Changed her name'. **


	20. Chapter 20: New York 5

Uncle Eyebrows,

(Bruce: I HEARD THAT! LET ME AT HIM! *held back by NY*)

He's a lobster, not a crab.

Be careful. she might hit you again.

King's English? I speak American! XP

beaucoup d'amour (much love),

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>Niece,<p>

I don't give a rat arse whether he's a lobster or a crab- he's a bottom feeding- *gets hit with a spoon*

What? Your still a colony. You speak the kings English, what lies have ye father been feeding you...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Arse: British spelling of ass.**


	21. Chapter 21: Prussia 2

yo captain,

WHAT! i did not get that at all and why would you be thinking of italy?, do you like him...?

the awesome prussia

* * *

><p>What the bloody hell does 'yo' mean?<p>

Because you asked me to think of an idea to get you two together, git.

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	22. Chapter 22: Blarney Imp 2

Author: you're welcome :) and I love the letter to Prussia. I was thinking, 'total Captain Jack Sparrow moment' confusing as hell!

England,

I have also been well.

My apologies for somehow mixing the two. I would have to agree about the freedom of being a pirate. That's pretty much a default benefit of being a pirate. Especially if you're captain. If I were a captain of a pirate ship I would be too paranoid of a mutiny and who knows how that would end for the crew...

Blarney-Imp

p.s. Ah, a captain? Congratulations!

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

That's good my impish friend.

I am not a pirate- I am a privateer! But I do agree with you on the mutiny point, thats always something I have to watch out for.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Thanks mate.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Okay guys, I have a life other than FF, I'll be back in a bit. (curse you saxamaphone...)**


	23. Chapter 23: San Marino 2

Dear England,

Ha! 1691 is not modern. Are you smoking something? If it's 1691 anf that's modern to you, then I'm an vast and endless empire. Sarcasm aside, what's wrong with you? Seriously, did you bump your head and now you think you're a pirate?

Oh yeah, I'm almost forgot to mention this but, please stop hurting Spain! He has a lot of little colonies to take care of, one of which happens to be my brother. And yes, whil Spain can be annoying, he's sweet! If you hurt Spain one more time, I swear I'm going to kill you. I will.

I have my reasons for wanting to curse you out.

Sinceramente,

Marianna Vargas, San Marino

(I've got a question. Does England not know what time he's in? Sorry 'bout Marianna. She's usually not this rude. Oh yeah, San Marino hates England because he bombed her country for a stupid reason in WW II)

* * *

><p>Lassy,<p>

It's 1691 where I am lass. I keep on getting these letters through a broken cannon. All I do is send replies. I don't know what you mean by smoking something. I certainly am not on fire- nor do I stand a chance at cooking.

Oh joy, another complainer. You do realize how off you sound. Protecting the man who tried attacking me in the first place. Psh. What the bloody hell is wrong with you.

Ha, I doubt you could even lay a finger on me before my cannons and I blow a giant hole straight threw that annoying country of yours.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN England knows what time period he's in~ I just have a time machine and we have been pen-pals for a while. So here's how it works: **

**You tye your question out in the reviewof - my story. I recieve it print it out on paper and send it to****- Pirate!England. Who is back in 1691 who then sends his reply back to- me. Who posts it online. **


	24. Chapter 24: Ohio 1

I gusses i'll do one 2.

Dear Iggy,

Its Ohio. We haven't met yet but we will soon and I can't wait till I sink you again like in the war of 1812.

Aufwartung, bis Sie fallen (waiting till you fall),

Martha ( Ohio ) Jones

* * *

><p>BLOODY HELL MY NAME ISN'T IGGY. AGH...<p>

Oi, hold on. No I don't think I know you. Are you in the savages territory?

Git. It isn't 1812 yet. Why are all of you so intent on confusing me... I have enough work as it is.

Lovely, if you weren't going to be English territory I would have gone over there and slit your throat by now...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you verner2 for writing in as Ohio~<strong>


	25. Chapter 25: Evangeline 2

ciao Arthur,

Canada. Oh, you don't know him yet. You'll find out soon enough.

A little bit later the 1329. try 2011.

Not yet. Soon, I'm sure he will.

Oh no! I forgot about my pasta! I have to get it before it burns!

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>'Ello dove,<p>

Is 'e more territory then? Very well, then I'll wait.

1329's already past dear, it's 1691. Pah. 2011, and I'm also a high paid secretary living in India. *sarcasm*

What do you mean?

That wouldn't be good, I have seen that Italy bloke break down into fits of tears when he drops a noodle.

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	26. Chapter 26: Singapore 1

England,

How have you been these last few years? I have been faring fine myself, sweating and slaving away in the hot sun. But then again, I cant exactly help it being near the equator.

Drop by! I always love a visit from my father figure, and you haven't come visit since ages ago! A nearly thirteen year old girl needs more love than that! I should be starting my rebelious age sometime soon, and I hope you come before that happens...

Ah, whatever lah! You come, you come, you cannot then nevermind ah. I can take care of myself anyway.

Republic of Singapore

* * *

><p>Republic of Singapore,<p>

I have been fine lass, France and Spain let me 'borrow' things from their ships.

I will try to, dove. When I have time though, there never seems to be enough of that.

And don't fret dear, I'll be over soon enough. Try not to get to rebellious though..

Captain Arthur Kirkland/ England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Ugh. I can't believe I missed this one... Sorry :P**


	27. Chapter 27: New York 6

Uncle Eyebrows,

lord, how did my dad put up with you.

sure thing. Whatever you say uncle.

*most of paper is wet + unreadable*

if you'll excuse me, I have to go kill my brother for dumping water on me.

beaucoup d'amour (much love),

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>Beast-child,<p>

I really do enjoy your company and all- but would you kindly belt up if your here to complain.

Hm? What do ye mean by that dove?

Your excused.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Oi, hold up.. If you said you speak American.. then why do you always end you letter with baeucoup d'amour?

* * *

><p><strong>AN Please excuse Iggy's rudness to you guys. He's a pirate. :c **


	28. Chapter 28: Evangeline 2

Sir Kirkland,

I am quite well, thank you!

Ah, yes. Of course! My bad, Captain! I assure you, I am no witch! Please don't kill me..!

Well, though I do drink it on occasion, I am under aged! No rum (legally) for me, yet. Unless there are no laws against it yet.. Then, by all means rum is the best!

I apologise, but your schools are rather strict where I am..

Slightly less respectfully (Is that better?),

Evangeline

* * *

><p>Dove,<p>

That's jolly good. How be you now then?

Don't worry your little head o yers lass, I'm not going to let you meet Davey just yet.

Ha-ha, Yes. I guess the law has changed in your time. Another good one is bumboo.

No worries lass, no worries. I had a tough education m'self. But you could always run off and join a gang of privateers under his majesty the king. They'll take anyone. But you'll probably have to say your a guy.

I don't give a rats arse- just say what you want,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Your pirate history for today: Bumboo was a classic pirate drink consisting of rum, water, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Sounds good right? **


	29. Chapter 29: Blarney Imp 3

England,

Haha...I guess you could say I am impish in the sense I love a good time including mischief of all sorts.

I got the message of you not being a pirate. What other dangers follow a ship and the people aboard at sea?

Blarney-Imp

p.s. You're welcome and I'm a female good sir.

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

I suppose so, I do too.

Finally, someone lubber who's intelligent enough gets the final answer I gave. Thank you.

But dangers? The biggest one would be fire, defiantly fire. Since you have to coat all the rigging and wood with tar to keep it from molding or leaking water into the boat. But tar is flammable so yeah, I think ye get the idea. Another danger getting' lost. But you'd have to be a pretty awful sea-men to not be able to stay on coarse.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. …. Bugger. I'm getting genders mixed up. Sorry lass.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Fire was actually the biggest threat to pirates back then. 'Cause unlike in movies where pirates are fighting in every other scene, there is alot of open ocean to not get caught in most of the time so the chances upon running into another ship (unless planned out on a corse that was already set) were pretty slim. Sorry Jack Sparrow fans (I'm one too) he's not very realistic. **


	30. Chapter 30: Sammakespancakes 4

Cap'n Kirk,

Its ok... I forgive you...

No... But I lost my mind... oh wait I can't lose something I never had... LIKE YOU~!

-stares at Arthur twirling like an idiot- well... at least your hot...

Pfft. they don't pee on everything if you get them neutured... haha...

Haha~ you can't cook worth a damn and you know it~!

B-But I wanna help~! I mean america's already ganna win his independence so you need to- Oh crap... I-I-I mena h-he... ugh shit...

-shoves a chocolate chip cookie in Iggy mouth- EAT THE CHOCOLATE~!

With much love,

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

Thanks. Much appreciated.

Um... You really are mental... aren't you...

What the bloody hell are you talking about wench? I don't do things like that.

I don't give a rats arse about damn dogs. They will always be inferior to cats.

W-what... w-what d-do you m-mean... H-how c-could A-America...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Hi right back at ya!**


	31. Chapter 31: Ireland 1

Dear Arthur,

What do you think of the anime "One Piece"? It's got pirates.

- Ireland

* * *

><p>Ireland,<p>

What the bloody hell is anime? I mean I might like it but I don't know what it is.

How have ye been faring of late?

Also, do you know what the American revolution is? I heard from another one of these letters about it and was wondering what it was.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Hm... what should we do... break Iggy's heart- not break Iggy's heart- break Igyy's heart- not break Iggy's heart...**


	32. Chapter 32: Prussia 3

yo means hello

you were confusing, sorry. help me still

awesome Prussia

* * *

><p>Oh. Well... Yo. I guess..<p>

Hm... Well, depends, since you obviously don't think because of your last comment about me helping you.. Why not write him a letter? Savvy?

What does awesome mean then?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Poor culturally deprived England... **


	33. Chapter 33: Japan 2

Asa-san.. Gomen, It seems I have went too far. It was improper of me to use your name when you have neither given me explicit permission to do so, nor reciprocated it by referring to me by name. I apologize. Allow me to start over.

Iggirisu-san,

I am glad you are faring well. I.. am doing fairly well on my part ..A friend? ..Right. Ah, thank you for your kind offer. I would like to be friends as well. I hope our standing with each other would improve over time.

E-eh? A-arigato guzaimasu! I-I a-ah.. (how embarrassing!) Y-you flatter me with your generous complements. I do believe you were exaggerating though.. I feel myself to be rather plain. T-thank you for the complement, however. Ahh.. Iggirisu-san is a very generous person with his praise.

A clam? How, if may I inquire, did that happen?

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Japan-san<p>

Don't fret chum, I don't bite off people's heads when they misname me. (unless you call me Iggy.)

Aye, that would be good. Thanks for considering. You need to become more open, savvy?

I-I was just commenting on your style... I-I wasn't t-trying to offend you or anything. Oh. (bad cook AND a bad fashion sense.)

And you seem to be sensible enough not to tell a lie; Do you know what the American revolution is?

Eh? Oh that, it's just a figure of speech. I don't normally speak to actual clams.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>READ IF CONFUSED... OR JUST READ. EITHER ONE. <strong>

**A/N Arthur wasn't a very good pirate fashion model up until about the 1700's, then he meets Calico Jack. And his life is turned upside down.**

**Calico Jack- a pirate notorious for his colouful clothing. (hence the name Calico) He is also one of the most famous pirate for: His Jolly Rodger (flag) is the steryotypical skull and crossed swords/bones. he was the only pirate to have two female pirates on board- Anne Bonny and Mary Read. And he is the guy Captain Jack Sparrow is probably based off of. **


	34. Chapter 34: Sicily 4

Ciao Arthur,

Really? How's the weather there? *laughs* No, it really is, at least here. Ask world if you're confused. If I was the sicily of your time I might have shot you.

Nothing, nothing.

Yes, I know. Pasta is very dear to us Italians. If you really want to see our bad side, mess with our Pasta.

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>'Ello love,<p>

… The weather on this blasted ship is a nightmare to say the least. Were in the middle of the bloody Atlantic and I'm receiving letters through the barrel of a broken cannon. How are you?

But.. um.. okay. Sorry about whatever I did back then dove.

Em.. okay. Next time theres a war between us I'll burn all the pasta I can get.

Captain Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Barrel of a broken cannon: Yup thats the portal I'm using to send letters through.**


	35. Chapter 35: New York 7

Uncle England,

HEY! What's with the Beast-child? That's rude ya know.

Fine, I won't complain.

What year is it for you again? 1691? Was I even under British control then?

-_-;; thanks.

beaucoup d'amour (much love),

Elena "New York" Jones

P.S: Because I feel like it.

* * *

><p>Beast-Child,<p>

You should take it as a compliment- your calling me eyebrows.

Good. I don't mind you complaining about life in general just not about me. I'm sick of it.

And yea, you are a colony. Why are you speaking like it happened a long time ago?

My pleasure.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Your barmy.


	36. Chapter 36: Singapore 2

Yes, Father, Daddy, papa, whatever.

You keep saying that you would but you never did. You never come over, all you do is send officials here and whatever whatnot. Your daughter needs love here! And I mean here! In Singapore! Hurry up and come already, I tired waiting for you! Very sien you know, try try try get attention but never get. I can guess that He didnt get this type of treatm-

Sorry went overboard there. But I can understand perfectly if you are busy. Take your time. I can do well enough without. I apologize if I let my emotions get the best of me. Logic and hard thinking is the way to go. No use having un-beneficial, emotional ties. You taught me that.

Since I believe we both can benefit from each other, I do hope our relations would remain strong. If you have noticed, I am ignoring the comment on Spain and France. I do not wish to delve into topics that do not concern me in a beneficial sense.

.. I suppose I could try not being rebellious, but age comes and brings whatever ages do. I'm not promising anything.

Republic of Singapore

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

What do you mean I never did? I haven't gotten ahead of myself? But I want to come dear, I really do. The only problem is I'm stuck out here in the middle of the ocean. When I get out I will try and come though.

But you had all the right to yell at me, because he did get it easier than you did. And that's because you seemed more capable of taking care of yourself than he did. I didn't want to hurt you by seeming like I ignored you. I am sorry love, savvy. And besides. I'm a hypocrite. You can't trust a pirate to tell you something and then not keep 'is word.

I understand. You always one for business. Once I get out of this deathtrap *drops staining paper*

Damn. And now it's raining. That's exactly what I needed.. *sarcasm*

Yes, I went through the same phase. Well, as soon as we land again I'm going to try and come strait to you, savvy?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN savvy?= understand?**

**I can tell this father/daughter kind of thing is going to end badly... glad I'm like Austria with stories and have a horrible sense of direction on where the plot is going! **


	37. Chapter 37: Sam MP 5

Poor ole Cap'n Kirk,

Oh I'm not mental... I'm utterly insane~!

Hahaha~! OH YEA~ My friend w-w-wanted me to tell you this... please spare my life for it is not me who says this...

My friend: DUDE YOU SUCK! FRANCE IS SUPIRIOR TO ALL!

SO SORRY DON'T HURT ME!

-smirks- heh, just you wait Iggy... just you wait. Dogs are a modern symbol here.

Look I live in the year 2011 so it has been... over 200 years sunce the Revolutionary War. Dude your going to lose to America. Don't change it.. believe me when I say this. It's for the better if you lose to him. -smiles- plus your the one who drove him to it~!

L'amour,

-Sam

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

I am not old. Your just incredibly young and naieve.

Your friend is a bloody nutcase who listens to anything that wine-bastard tell them to. I won't hurt ye, I can't even reach you considering I'm stranded out in the middle of the Atlantic... Or at least that's where I think I am..

Yeah, well there an annoying pestilence here.

… That can't be right.. America would never do that to me... You must be joking.. What the bloody hell is wrong with you?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN I'm glad you guys have been liking the facts I put down here. I feel bad for Iggy though...**


	38. Chapter 38: Blarney Imp 4

**I'm glad you like them~ Chee hee hee..**

* * *

><p>England,<p>

You probably shouldn't feed my ego by praising my intelligence. It will make me do something stupid. But you're welcome anyhow.

Eh, I am not a big fan of fire. The thought of it gives me the shivers for some odd reason. I only like fire for cooking, light, warmth...and superstitious reasons. Speaking of superstitions, do you believe any?

Blarney-Imp

p.s. It's alright, it's not like I'm the most ladylike of women.

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

Aye, I think I understand ye mate.

I don't mind it, 'less be I the one who's on fire.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Ah, I see.


	39. Chapter 39: Sicily 5

Ciao Arthur,

That has to be the weirdest thing I've ever heard. And I'm related to Veneziano and Romano.

-_-;; I've been been better. I've got a slight cold from the economy, but my brothers get the worst because the represent the country. Never again do I want that.

It actually wasn't you. I was influenced a lot by France and I was still a nation (who was slowly falling apart).

Unless you want to lose your head, I wouldn't touch any pasta.

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angelica,<p>

It's not that strange, is it?

Oh- sorry 'bout the sickness. Have you ever tried using leeches? People say that they help.

Damn that frog.

No thankee,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Leech treatment: Back then the parasite held a medical use. A doctor might have a big jar of water on his desk full of them, like how your teacher might have an apple on hers/his. The leeches were placed on your arm or leg and they supposedly 'sucked out the bad blood'. More often than not they gave the person a blood infection and they died. So yeah; Leeches= sucky painful way to die.**


	40. Chapter 40: New York 8

Uncle England,

): meanie.

I won't complain about you.

Because it was a long time ago. I haven't been a colony of your's for, hell, 235 years.

Much love,

Elena Jones (New York)

P.S: oh well. :D

* * *

><p>My Niece,<p>

I apologize for such abrupt accusation m'lady. Please, if you can ever forgive me. *sarcasm* But seriously, I'm sorry love for hurting those tender feelings o yers.

Thanks dove.

….S-so it is-isn't a l-lie... H-he really s-separated...

I-I need a drink...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Uh oh... Even when Iggy was a pirate his alcohol consuption level was still pathetically low... What have you guys done to him! **

**Fact: Most people say that the US separated from the UK because of freedom. Well, I'm here to say that they are wrong. The biggest reason why the US separated was because of money. You see, how England worked back then was they would gather in the rescorces from all their territories and then bring them to the factories back in England. (most of the territories they kept, US didn't have enough money to build factories.) Then they would develope the rescorces into products and ship them back out to the colonies and sell them. Now, America got annoyed because he thought that England was selling him to him for to high of a price so then... Yeah... Revolution. But that's how most things get decided. Fights are started over money. Aren't I optemistic? XD **


	41. Chapter 41: Japan 3

Iggirisu-san,

I-I am afraid I do not understand. Asa is your name yes? Er.. A-sa-ru-san? A-ta-ru-san? Gomen, I have always referred to your name as A-sa Ka-ku-la-n-do.

More open? I am afraid I do not understand..

A-ah? Have I offended you? I apologize! Please forgive me!

I- ano.. Please let me consider all the possibilities before doing so.

I see. Thank you for your explanation.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Japan-san,<p>

My name is England... But you can call me Asa if you want to..

Oh, it's nothing... don't need to worry.

No, no. It's not you. I'm fine.

Yes, that is fine..

No problem.. I need more rum... BLOODY HELL WHY IS IT NEVER WHERE I NEED IT TO BE..

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Alcohol+ pirates... uh oh... Thanks you guys for all the awesome feed back~ I'd love more if you guys don't mind! **


	42. Chapter 42: Sicily 6

Ciao Arthur,

Receiving letters through a broken cannon? Nope, not strange at all.

NO! I hate leeches. Disgusting things.

Well, it was also Spain and religious differences. No one really got along during this time. But we're better terms now though.

That's what I though,

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>*hic* Angel darlllling,<p>

N-not at all! Why the *hic* bloody hell would thhhhhat be *hic* out of the ordinary? Ha ha ha~

*hic* … There disguuuusting littl- *nearly falls off the jib he's sitting on* The worst little ve*hic*min I've ever encountered...

S-Spain? T-that bastard... I'll kill 'im... I'LL BLOODY KILL YOU! YOU HEAR THAT SPAIN I'LL BLOODY STAB YOUR HEAR OUT! *hic*

Wha- I'd don't give a damn about life... my own brother abandons meee... *hic* hell I don't even know what religion I am... Catholic? Or p- *hic * Protestant... *hic* I should just *hic * fall off this thing and into the bloody ocean... *hic*

NO. NO LOVE FOR YOU. L-love dosen't give a damn whether I cared about my little brother or not... *wet stains* d-damn you rain...

Ca-*hic *Captain Urthur Kurglnd *hic*

* * *

><p><strong>AN Yup. Poor ol' Ca-Captain Urthur Kurgland. His memory shall always be in our hearts. **

**yeah... "Rain" I'm sure was what made you cry Iggster.**

**England: I -I did not cry... *hic* **

**Jib: A jib is a part of the pointy thing that sticks out of the front of a ship that looks like a mast turned on it's side. (Mast: the thing that is like the trunk of the tree to hold up the sails.) If any one else has a better explanation please tell- I am kind of sucking at this *scratches the back of her head awkwardly***


	43. Chapter 43: Evangeline 3

Kirkland,

Bumboo? I have never heard of it! I bet it is quite good, if it suits your refined tastes!

Joining a gang of privateers.. I like that idea! Granted, I'd have a hard time acting as a boy.

I have a question! Since you are a captain, how many ships do you have? Their names? Which is your favourite? Sorry for the questions, love! Just a tad bit curious, is all.

Disrespectfully, (Unless your rats arse cares at all about that),

Evangeline

* * *

><p>*hic* Evangeline,<p>

bumvoo is only the best bloody drink in the *hic* seven seas. It numbs out the pain of losing a brother... *hic*

It is a good idea. *hic* I'm the good ideas man... You come to me and I'll give you another maybe... without charge~

I have to m'lady... The HMS Britannica... *hic* And my favorite's the Viper, that's m'pirat- No. It's m'privateerin' ship. Yus. *hic*

Nope, m'rats arses don't give a damn... I don't give a damn... My brother won't give a damn sooner orr *hic * laterrr...

Captain Urthur Kurgland...

* * *

><p><strong>AN Well kids, now you know: drinking yourself into oblivion doesn't solve all your problems! In England's case it made them worse! **


	44. Chapter 44: Sam MP 6

Kirk,

Hey, I bet I'm smarter then you!

YES SOMEONE WHO AGREES SHE IS INSANE! ah... I hope your not lost...

Haha plus I dont see cats saving peoples lives...

Um.. yea sorry Iggy but this time I'm dead serious. -serious face- America will be Independent from you... I-I am really sorry b-but you taxed stuff and it was completly unfair to all the Americans. Oh yea.. watch out for the Boston Tea Party.

Hey I have a question... have you ever been in love? I ask b-b-because there is this guy I love.. a-a-and he doesn't know i exist. How do I get his attention?

With much simpathy,

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

Hey, I bet your not!~ *hic*

Of corse your mental... I'm barmy too... Along with this whole bloody ship on this whole bloody world. Were all mental.. *hic*

I have never, in my entire life ever seen or heard of a blasted -*hic* mutt saving anyone's life.. Now belt up.

Your not right! You can't be... H-he'd never *hic* separate from his own brother... I took care of him... What is that, some religion? *hic*

I don't know... I'm not *hic* very good with romance...

Why are you *hic* offering me sympathy? I don't need bloody sympathy... Y-you can't ever be a superpower with s-sympathy *hic*

Captain Arthur Kurglnd

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you to Chandinee and anyone else who spotted my mistake. Another way England collected money was with taxes... which would start up more money trouble. So in the end most wars are still caused with money. Thanks *hands out cookies to YOU.***


	45. Chapter 45: New York 9

Uncle England,

I forgive you. (hey world, hit him for me, will ya?)

Shit. Look, England, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Damn, why do I bring up bad memories.

Please be careful Uncle England. Don't do anything you're gonna regret.

~Elena Jones (New York)

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

T-thanks. *hic* I f-feel better a-already... *hic* Ha ha ha~

How d-dare you swear in front of you *hic* Uncle! W-what.. would... A-America... say... *breaks down*

T-too late~ *hic*

Captain *hic* Arthur Kurgland

* * *

><p><strong>AN That makes sense... Hm. I guess she was stuck with a drunken/moraly depressed pirate for the entirety of the war. That sucks. XD**


	46. Chapter 46: Sicily 7

Ciao Arthur,

God, you are so ubriaco (drunk)

Angel? You're the first person to call me that.

I couldn't agree more.

DON'T KILL SPAGNA! I'll never hear the end of it from Romano.

You're Protestant dear.

No love. T-T

Don't fall off, or else France will have to raise America!

He he he, the pictures I got from Hungary say you *LOVE* America!

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel, *hic*<p>

I KNOW~ And I don't feel any better... In fact I *hic* think I feel worse... Nothing a little bumboo can't fix~ *slips and almost falls into the water again*

It suits *hic* you.

Good. There disgusting.

I don't bloody care, I'm going to rip that wankers heart out.

N-no! H-he couldn't *hic* raise that boy. It's against the law!

I loved America as a brother... I-I'm not a bloody paedophile.

NO. YOU STILL DON'T GET ANY LOVE.

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Chee hee hee~ blackmailing your own uncle, hm?**


	47. Chapter 47: New York 10!

Uncle England,

-_-;; Great.

(Bruce: Let me pinch him!) No.

My dad would probably tell me to watch my language.

Don't kill yourself or anything! I know it's hard, but, believe me, things are gonna be REALLY good between you two.

~Elena Jones (New York)

* * *

><p>( He is now so drunk I'm surprised he hasn't passed out yet)<p>

What *hic* wrong?

I'M *hic* GOING TO KILL THAT BLOODY *hic* BOTTOM FEE- *passes out and falls off jib and into the water*

(Holy crap. I think my minion just drowned. One sec...)

*elevator music*

(I'm back!)

…. Where the bloody hell am I? Oh right. *hic*

Ugh.. my head... I'll try not to mom... *hic*

But what do ye mean by that?

Arther Kurglnede *hic*

* * *

><p><strong>AN Yup. Artykins is pretty wasted~ Enough to not be able to spell his name! You gets another cookie. **


	48. Chapter 48: Sicily 8

Ciao Arthur,

Drinking will do that to you.

Thanks.

*sigh* don't do that. You'll start another war.

Think about it. If you die, then he's the one who'll take america! And we don't want that to happen.

I'm in 2011, remember. America's grown up. And, truth be told, he's pretty sexy. I'm not surprised you fell for him.

T-T Why no love?

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

*hic* Hell yes.

Your welcome. *hic*

Ha ha ha~ I don't bloody *hic* care if I start a war!~

…. He'll probably do a better job than me... I did so badly apparently my territory ran away and made his own country... That other one... A- *hic* -mericas twin... the quiet one. I've not heard of him ever running off... So obviously the frog did something.

I DON'T LOVE HIM. He's my little brother...

B-because love is an awful thing that makes you care about someone very much *hic* and then they go run off and make their own bloody *hic* country!

Captain Artur Kerbland *hic*

* * *

><p><strong>AN Lets hope Iggster doesn't run off and get married while he's still SUI (sailing under the influence.. Or Sweden's neckname [I think]. Either one.)**


	49. Chapter 49: New York 11

Uncle Arther Kurglnede,

Bloody hell! Stop fighting you to!

(Bruce: you went English for a sec) Shut it Bruce.

Ok, do you want me to tell you what's going on between you two in 2011? Because I will if you really want me to.

* * *

><p>Crustacean... *sways* a-and niece, *hic*<p>

NO. *hic* I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I SEE THAT THING BOILED AND *hic* SERVED WITH CAPERS.

F-fine. Do y-your worst. *hic*

Captain Arbor kerb-land

* * *

><p><strong>AN Poor Arbor. Poor, poor Arbor... **


	50. Chapter 50: Blarney Imp 5

England,

Aw come on! Don't get the thought of people on fire stuck in my head. Such macabre thoughts with all the burnt skin and hair...and the screaming. And you didn't answer my question about superstitions either.

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

Ugh... sorry 'bout that mate. Didn't mean to scare ya.

And superstitions? O' course I believe in 'em. Spend enough time at sea and other people who believe in 'em and they spread around like wild fire! Ow... my head...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>READ IF CONFUSED... OR JUST READ. EITHER ONE. <strong>

**A/N Poor Igster. He has a cruddy hangover...**

**Witching hour: The time of night believed to be the most powerful time for ghost, witches, black magic, and other beasties that want to do a sailor (or anyone) harm. It's normal time is midnight to three AM... So yeah. Don't go outside!~**

**Amityville murders: A book, it's truth is contimplated a lot depending on wether or not you believe in ghosts and other paranormal beasties~ (don't use the term beasties though, it ain't a real word... same with ain't, no matter how many time spell-check disagrees with me.)**

**Well, the plot of the story: This family moves into a house where a while back this other guy killed something like six people in it. (this family was doomed from the beginning if there following** **typical American horror.) So then 28 later, the family moves out claiming that there was some paranormal activity. Ha. I just used two movie names in one sentence. Can you guys beat that? (Weaver has no claim over any of the random things she says here.)**

**Okay guys, I'm not going to be on for the next couple hours- so try and not give me a heart attack when I open up FF and find I have three million reviews. You guys are awesome!**

**~Weaver**


	51. Chapter 51: Sam MP 7

DCap'n Kurglnd,

I know how many licks it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop~!

Ah...haha... your funny when your wasted... We all hit that point of going unsane at some point.

Look, here in 2011 you two are great friends -smiles- maybe even a little more~ haha and for the sake of you not drowning yourself in rum, I won't tell you about the Boston Tea Party... no its not a religion.

-cough- not what -cough- Alfred says.

Well Arthur, sometimes sympathy is the best you can get. (trying to make you feel better) On the bright side, your so drunk you probably wont even remember we told you he separated from you. -smiles-

Oh yea and Arthur, if this makes you feel any better, you two are considered a couple here in 2011. ^.^ so the love goes on.

-sigh- hoping you dont jump off the boat,

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

No. What the bloody hell is a tootsie roll. Ugh... My head...

Great.. laugh at my pain... meh.

What the bloody hell is the Boston tea party tell before I make you dance the hempen jig? Ow. I shan't yell... ever again... ugh..

What does Alfred say?

Huh? W-what the bloody hell do you mean? All I remember is being dead drunk... and then falling into some water..

ACK! *ow* H-he and I could be hung for that offense! *ow.. my head..*

No. I won't. But I'm soaking wet so I think I fell. D-damn, why does it have to be so bloody cold out... *sneezes*

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>READ IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HEMPEN JIG IS. OR YOU CAN READ IF YOU DO BUT- NEVER MIND. JUST READ IT.<strong>

**A/N Ja. You gets a cookie too. **

**Hempen Jig: Pirate slang for getting hung/hanged. (hung being the old english version of past-tense hang.) **

**Anti-gay: Most people back then thought if you were gay/lesbian or anything diffrent then 'the normal' you could be hung, or tortured just for that reason. Aren't humans kind and gentle to each other? **

**And you guys do realize there wern't tootsie pops back in the 17th century right?**

**1691= 17th century. Yup. It sounds strange but whenever you hear someone refering to the 15th century was when they 'discovered' America they're refering to the 1400's. (1492 to be exact.) **


	52. Chapter 52: Singapore 3

England,

Excuse that part, I should have tore it out. You can pretend it never happened. I had no right to yell. You raised me and I was being ungrateful. I apologise. I'd hate for you to think of me as an unfilial child.. Thank you for your complement though. I am glad you are able to see that I am perfectly capable of handling myself.

But I must note.. you put yourself as a hypocrite right after you you said you were sorry, so I shall pretend I did not see that. Athough now you have made me question what about you I can trust..

Death trap? England? Do I want to know? And dont you have shelter? Why are you in the rain? It could give you pneunomia or a cold if you're lucky. Please remember to be careful. And to take good care of yourself!

I shouldn't have to tell you this!

Worrying!Republic of Singapore

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

You had all the right to yell. Don't say your sorry. *ow... my head...*

… You caught me. My daughters grown up to be a lawyer... Either that or your going to do very well as a country.

Ha... *ow* A ship provides enough shelter I guess. God... blast this headache... I'll try though. And you too. I don't want France or any one trying to get the better of you.

Aye,

Hangover!P/England


	53. Chapter 53: Japan 4

Iggirisu-san,

E-eh? Hontou desu ka? T-then please, you refer to me by my name as well. I am glad our relations seem to be improving. (and in such a short time!) I am very happy to have such an honour.

Ano.. Asa-san? Are you alright? You seem to be distacted somehow.. Am I being a distraction? I apologise! I did not mean to make myself troublesome! Please excuse this letter if it distracts you from anything! You need not write back or read any more. I am very sorry for being so troublesome.

E-eh? Rum? I am very sorry, allow me to send some over for writing to me even when it was problematic for you to do so. You have my sincerest apologies.

Honda Kiku

P.s, I hope we can still keep good relations.. I-if we cannot, I understand

* * *

><p>Japan-san,<p>

The honor is mine, it is a great pleasure to start an alliance with a fellow nation.

Nay. No I'm fine. I forgot what I was distracted by in the first place. I don't think it was you though.

Hm?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Nay, I'm fine with good relations.


	54. Chapter 54: Ohio 2

Dear Ass,

Sorry I mean Iggy no England. I am not a savage even though my brothers would still say other wise. I did force you both to surrender to me though a few times your both still mad about that. But they must have spent way too much time with you to even think that and even call me Russia daughter at times. Gives evil smirk. And just so you know think before you say things next time pirite I mean wait I don't mean anything idiot. If you just try to slit my throat again I will set you on fire and watch you burn again. That time was fun mother Russia even helped me with it that time.

Hader dig ( hate you )

Martha ( Ohio ) Jones

* * *

><p>Wench,<p>

Sorry to disapoint you but I agree with your brothers.

… Who the bloody hell are you? And personally, I don't give a rats arse about what others think of you wench.

It's _privateer_. I'm not a bloody pirate. And I don't even know you. How the bloody hell could you have set me on fire. Git.

Why do you hold such a grudge you hag- if I ever see you I will keelhaul ye.

Aye, right back at ya,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Weaver is not responsible for this pirate swearing at you, England will swear like a sailor if you get him angry. So blame yourself.**

**KEELHAUL: One of the worst marine punishments of all of them.(I'm going to leave it to you to look them up.) Lets say your name is Joe. And you decided to steal and try and escape. Now Captain Arthur sees this and orders you to be keelhauled: Keelhauling is where the victem is tied to a rope and dragged along side the under-belly of the boat. Considering the fact that sharp barnacles and other sea life decide to live on the undersides of boats the victim is dragged across these creating deep cut, possibly removal of limbs and even decaptitaion- which really sucks. Normally "Joe" would die from this. **


	55. Chapter 55: Prussia 3

Iggy,

Awesome means Extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, and or fear. I am all of that and more!

okay i will write him a letter oh an Alfred is Anoying here in the future and you have a...

well i will leave you to wonder what you get kesesese~

Awesome Gilbert

* * *

><p>Prussia,<p>

CAPTAIN Iggy. If you all insist in calling me that you must use honorifics. I'm a captain.

Hm... I thought it stood for: Annoying Wanker, Especially Symbolizing Oppressive Moronic Emotions. But aye, you can be the correct one.

Aye, I'd be interested in hearing how- Oi. How dare you insult my little brother. I should keelhaul you too.

What? Well, what the bloody hell are you keeping from me?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Captain Iggy has a list of those he should keelhaul locked- *gets dragged off stage by Captain Iggy***


	56. Chapter 56: New Zealand 1

**Thank you Wren-Khat for writing in a New Zealand~ And to anyone else I might have forgotten! Danka!**

* * *

><p>Big Brother,<p>

You don't know about me yet but in about a century I'll end up being your little sister. Thankfully you'll get to me before France. Please hit him with something if you see him any time soon. He's probably done something to deserve it anyways.

I am wondering why you chose to lie to me about you being a pirate. Honestly, I would have liked to here those stories just as much as the others. You are a very bad liar by the way. Also America and France are horrible at keeping secrets. But enough spoilers for now.

With love,

-New Zealand (Or that set of two smaller islands near that one really big island on the other side of the world that Netherlands found a couple decades ago.)

* * *

><p>Little lass?<p>

No, I don't think I know ye. But if you insist... my empire is growing a lot... I'm surprised nothing has happened yet~

So every one here knows? Bugger. Well don't tell the king and I guess I'll be fine.

Sigh...

I'm a pirate.

Oh so that who you are. Very well then.

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	57. Chapter 57: Massachusetts 1

Dear uncle

What's up? New York told me about this letter thing and I gotta say I'm interested in what will happen. I hope we aren't changing history. That would be bad...

I also heard you drank yourself into a coma (well almost) try not to fall off the ship from your hangover okay? Dad won't be around to help with your drinking issue for a couple of centuries. Don't worry about your relationship with dad.

Wait till you meet Winston Churchill (he's what you would call a bloody genius) and man do things get interesting!

Love,

Carrie jones the commonwealth of massachuttes

P.S sorry for any odd typos, my Itouch is odd

* * *

><p>Lad,<p>

Nay, nary a worry lad. Weaver here has been keeping me from killing any of you~

Wait. I did what? But yeah- the hangover is awful to say the least. Ugh. My head...

My what- relationship?

A bloody genius eh? Aye, I can't wait.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. What the bloody hell is an Itouch?


	58. Chapter 58: Bristol 2

Captain,

The rum's always gone because we keep drinking all of it. But don't worry we can get more rum in Tortuga! That's if you can go to Tortuga one day without being slapped by one of your 'lady friends' *smirks*

Edward Kirkland

* * *

><p>Edward,<p>

Ha ha~ I guess your right lad. We need to stock up on more next time were there. Aye, beware the wicked wenches... I think they might be more terrifying than any of the French... I don't think I'll be able to set one boot down onto that island before confronting those she-devils.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>NEED TO READ! OR NOT. BUT IF YOU THINK TORTUGA WAS FAKE THEN YOU NEED TO READ.<strong>

**A/N No peoples. This is not turning into a Pirates of the Carribean FF. Tortuga was an actual place.**

**Tortuga: A little Haitian island. aka pirate paradise. Basically if you (your name is Joe again, before you got dragged al;ong the underside of a boat) commited a crime on high seas and need a place to bed down till the privateers stop looking for you and move on to their next target? Well then Joe can come to Tortuga! not an actual ad. **


	59. Chapter 59: Blarney Imp 6

England,

I wasn't scared...

And I get what you mean about the superstitions. I was raised in a house of thespians. All followed theatre traditions and superstitions. So naturally, I'm also superstitious. The word seems weird after it's repeated alot

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>Miss Blarney-Imp<p>

Good.

Aye, I understand. It's almost the same way if you have been around the ocean for the entirety of your life.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN sorry for not updating quickly, even in summer my life is still a chaotic mess. :p**


	60. Chapter 60: Silent Pandimonium 1

Dearest Captain Kirkland,

First and foremost I'd like to express my deepest appreciation of this wonderful letter series. I have to admit that at first glance I believed this to be just that, just another letter series with mediocore questions and completely out of character replies. On further exploration however I discovered this to be a hidden germ, your auther does your character a lot of justice and it is therefore that I implore you to be more friendly towards weaver for in the end she *does* posses the power to turn you into am Gary Stue.

Anyway, I was wondering if you could be as friendly as to give me the recipe for Bamboo~ I was thinking of hosting a pirate themed party and I thought that could give it a nice authentic touch. It is in the same light that I'm asking you for some advice on rum (who's a bigger expert than you?). Do you have a preferred kind of rum? (spiced, flavoured etc. I'm quite fond of coconut rum myself) or do you just drink anything as long as it is considered liquer?

I'll end this insanely long letter with a recommondation, when in the 21th centurey, please take the time to listen to a band called Alestorm, especially the song 'Nancy the tavern wench' Will take you right back to your privateer days ;D

I Thank you for your time and I apologise for any mistakes made seeing as English (sadly) isn't my mother tongue.

Kindest regards,

Silent Pandemonium

* * *

><p>Lassy Silent Pandemonium,<p>

Well, for starters. I havenary a clue on what a Gary Stue is. But aye, thanks for the request. I'll take it to mind the next time I speak to her. And thank'e kindly ma'am for the compliments on my writing. It's a little difficult to write on a ship... with pen n' ink. But thanks again.

A recipe for bumboo? Well thanks for asking m'self. Try this one, I got the ship's cook interested in these letters and he's spyin' over m'shoulder:

_2 oz Navy rum (or amber rum)_

_1 oz chilled water_

_3 TSPs of cane sugar (or brown sugar)_

_pinch o' cinnamon and nutmeg_

This be only one drink though. And depending on how much you want of it the cinnamon and nutmeg. **(A/N this can be served with ice, but the traditional way is to drink it straight I also converted it to make it easier for some to read, sorry every one who can't read Americanese.)**

I don't think I have a favorite though- but I do favor dark rum I guess.

I will lass. Is that a traveling band of minstrels?

Nary a worry lass- I don't mind. *cough* Englishisthebestthough*cough*

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN thank you~ I'm glad I can get some feed-back from you guys and now I know England isn't to OOC. Thanks Silent Pandimonium! And I know what a Gary Stue is, but Iggy has nary a clue. ;) **

**YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ THIS... IF YOUR INTERESTED IN BUMBOO YOU WILL WANT TO READ THIS.**

**There are a couple diffrent recipies for bumboo (aka bumbo aka bimbo, it has a lot of diffrent variations.) I just went to Webtender wiki and serched up bumboo- they have a couple diffrent ways you can make it. Hope it helped~!**


	61. Chapter 61: Sam MP 8

Kirk,

Well the bloody hell toosie roll is really good. a tootsie pop is aven betterer.

Ok, I'll try my best to laugh at you pain. HAHAHAHA

*found out what that was* Uh... its where America dumps all your tea in the Boston Harbor. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!

The Alfred in my time calls you 'Iggy' and 'Artie' as well as...'Eyebrows' haha oh alfred is also a superpower here... he's... up there near mother Russia.

Aye, you could... BUT in my time its allowed. I THINK in your country as well... I know it is in America. But haha But you two make the cutest couple~! and offence? you mean like a law or rule? ah... Rules are ment to be broken~! And expecially in the name of (as France would say it) L'amour~!

Oh yeap, you fell... EEP are you ok? B-Be careful! I-I-I dont know what I'd do if there was not USUK in the FUTURE!

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

Okay then?

You aren't the smartest of the flock. Are you.

W-will you s-stop l-lying t-to m-me... A-America would n-never d-do that...

Great. I bloody well needed to hear that... why?

But they're sinners? The church doesn't allow people like that.

I'm fine. I fell in a floating patch of seaweed and I'm finding the stuff everywhere now. Pulled a bunch out o' my boot earlier... foul stuff seaweed be..

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN I completly support gay rights. I just want to keep Iggy as historically acurate as possible. I don't mean to offend anyone.**

**sinners: Yes, even now some people think gays are sinners. But not just the curch hated them, it was basically everyone... exept for, you know, the other gays. **


	62. Chapter 62: Sicily 9

Ciao Arthur,

You are going to be so hungover.

I do, because I don't want to be the one who caused it.

*facepalm* this is FRANCE! He'll probably rape him or something!

Well, I still like love.

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angelica,<p>

Already happened.. but aye. I had a terrible headache. And having the boat rock you back and forth doesn't help.

Caused what? Sorry lass, I can't remember much after getting drunk.

Who the bloody hell might France rape? I mean... Other than anyone who he can overpower. But you get the point, savvy?

Er... Aye? I guess you do.

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	63. Chapter 63: New York 12

Uncle Arbor,

Why do you want to eat my pet so badly?

~Elena Jones (NY)

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

What? My names not Arbor?

I wouldn't eat that thing. It's a disgusting water-rat. I just want it dead.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Back then (and up until the 1800's I think) lobsters and crabs were thought of as repulsive because no one knew how to prepare them to taste good. Thats why England hates Bruce.**


	64. Chapter 64: mass letters 1

**A/N Sorry guys, I'm going to start massing letters into groups of three. But I still love all of you 'cause your awesomness in responding~!**

**LETTER 1**

Big Brother,

-sigh- I'll ignore the little part for now. But just keep in mind you really do have to wait to come pick me up. It would mess with things otherwise and who knows how it would turn out in the end.

Of course we know that you are a -cough- privateer! And don't worry, I don't intend to rat my own brother out to the king. Even if you did mention the slight possibility of being a pirate. I end up owing you later on so just think of it as me making up part of the debt.

So has anyone else told you about what will end up happening? If you have questions I'll answer them the best I can. Though I might be biased at points.

You haven't happened to meet a tall blonde with a long scarf that lives up north and to the east of you yet have you?

With love

-New Zealand

PS: I'm serous, hit France for me the next time you see him. Please and thank you!

* * *

><p>New Zealand,<p>

Aye, I understand mate.

Thanks lub, I wouldn't want that to happen.

Thanks again then. You future people have a big difference from I.

Aye... know Russia...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I will. Nary a worry mate.

**LETTER 2**

Dear Pirite Idiot,

I amone of the 50 states of the United States of America, your little brother who left you because you such an asshole. And was once one of your freakin territories. And why I set you on fire you Freaking ticked me off with 'no you are one of my territories and you can't have any fun rules' thief. Why I have and hold the grudge is not your problem and I'm not a hag you Damn przegrany (loser). And you have tried to keelhaul me many times before uncle but Nox or I stopped you every single time.

wkrótce umrzeć (die soon)your niece

Martha (Ohio) Jones

* * *

><p>Dear goat in cloths,<p>

50 of them.. *whistles* If there more like you I'm surprised why America hasn't gone bat-shit crazy by now. I feel sorry for any of your cities that have to put up with your raving idiocy. But I still don't know you.. so why are you blaming me for something I haven't even done yet?

Rules? Blimey I must have changed a great deal.

Ooo... I'm terrified... I'm being called a loser... Oh I'm shaking in my boots~ *sarcasm* I think Latvia is more terrifying than you, git.

And what you be sayin' is nary an inch from the truth. You need to be tied up to be keelhauled. You also need to be on a boat. America has told me where your territory be, there isn't much open water there. Though you do have a point, it makes sense why I'd want to keelhaul you after being the annoying pestilence you have been ya wench.

What savage tongue be you speaking? It looks like the onomatopoeia of someone falling down stairs.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

**A/N but seriously, what language is that. Is it native American? And I really don't like insulting you guys via England. He can be an a$$ sometimes. Maybe I should start putting up pirate lingo for you guys to look at. What do you guys think?**

**LETTER 3**

Hello Uncle,

I am Ohio's younger brother or at least one that lived with you. Before we go further on I am sorry about my sister she is still not sane yet. Guess we should have seen that comeing from a mile. Don't take anything says with any face value she is still angery at you and tries to make everyone but the vikings and Russia loose their temper even father. Any ways one of the reasons she's angry at you is because she has a little crush on you and didn't like it when you said no to her and then told her she couldn't date. She ended date Denmark and Russia witch is creepy for she could pass as their daughter/sister. Sorry about going on and on about that. How are you doing?

Hope this clears things up,

Kyle (Michigan) Jones

* * *

><p>'Ello Kyle,<p>

Aye.. apparently one of the fifty others..

Obviously she is still angry.. but she liked her own uncle? That seems a little off at best...

Aye, though I doubt your sister will be as easy going as you, lad.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

**A/N Sigh.. I really didn't want to do any mass letters, but I'm just going to use them anytime you guys get ahead of me. Thanks for all your awesomness that you have showered upon this humble author! XD **


	65. Chapter 65: mass letters 2

**A/N CURSE YOU MASS LETTERS~ thanks yukinothekoneko for writing in as Texas! And an awesome shout out to anyone else who I skipped!**

**LETTER 1**

Hey there Uncle,

I heard from some o' my siblings about letters to a pirate. Had to practically torture Broadway for more information. Not that I minded; was kinda fun and the varmint deserved it. Damn Yankee.

Oh, I'm another of the states, if you haven't already figured that out. Not one of the original thirteen, but I'm still older than some of 'em. I'm called Texas, but for some reason Spain calls me Tejas.

So how's it on the high seas wearin' all that frilly clothing an' whatnot? Looks good on you an' all, you definitely pull that look off, but just sayin'. Oh, and two last questions.

1. Rum or Whiskey?

2. If a bat-shit hyper Korean with a speech impediment keeps inviting himself over to your house and helpin' 'imself to everything, would that be enough reason to pop a cap in his crazy ass without gett'n' chewed out by anyone? Or at least threatening to shoot off his vital regions or somethin'?

With the letter is a few bags of potato chips. You probly don't know what they are, but trust me; they help with hangovers. I gotta feelin' you can knock 'em back like I can. M'I right?

Take Care Uncle Artie,

Terrah (Texas) A. Jones-Carriedo

* * *

><p>Spanish Territory,<p>

… You become another one too? God, there really are fifty of you...

I don't wear frilly clothing. I have basic pirate garb of the 17th century. Belts, white shirt, tri-corner hat, waistcoat and overcoat. It's the pirate normal attire. But I be faring well, and how might you be?

… Rum. No questionable judgment needed.

By that time I'd already have shot him... But I don't know what the law is of your time. (not that I would follow it.)

What the bloody hell are these crunchy bags for? Do you eat them? Maybe there's a German on board... they seem to know a lot about potatoes... Maybe they can explain these bag things you have sent me...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

**LETTER 2**

Uncle,

I am your NIECE. I thought Carrie would be a bit obvious but...

You seem to be taking the hangover well. Here, when you get drunk, you spend most of the time hiding under a blanket and drink a cargo ships worth of tea.

Your relationship with dad of course! Trust me after two hundred years things will... Well, you don't try to kill each other... And trust me when I say that Churchill will make things very interesting!

Carrie Jones

PS an Itouch is a bit of techonology that dad made. I think even your queen (you have a queen in my time) has one! If intored to explain what it was, it would require a very long letter explaining how much technology has changed. Since it's the 16 hundreds where you are...it would be very long andake you hangover worse.

* * *

><p>Niece,<p>

… Sorry lass, there is a Carrie Kennit on board. Though we all call him Gunpowder Carrie.

Ha~ I will be such a coward. I can't show my crew any weakness or else I might get tossed out to sea... or ocean.. Were still stuck out here.

My what? Okay.. sure. I'll take yer word for it then.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. A Queen? But thanks for the mercy of not explaining.

**LETTER 3**

As- Iggi- Ano.. sumimasen, I do not have clear understanding on what to call you yet. I cannot allow myself to refer to you so closely when you do not do the same, but I also feel that we have passes the point of formalities to call you by your Country name.

Thank you for accepting me as a good -eh? O-oh. Right. Thank you for accpting me as a good alliance partner, ano, Igirisu-san then. I suppose I was thinking too much into our relationship then.. I was hoping.. Ah! I accidentally wrote it down! Please excuse those lines!

It wasnt me? I am very relieved for that. I was very worried I would be stained in your eyes for being such a nuisence. Perhaps you need to relax more? Some meditation always helps me...

Ah, hai? Doushite shimasuka?

Japan

Honda Kiku

P.s Thank you very much.

* * *

><p>Japan-san<p>

I don't have a prefernce on what you call me. Just anything but Iggy.

No worries lad. I take no offense in what you say.

What be this meditation you speak of? I have heard the word before but never tried it me'self.

I don't speak Japanese.. um.. Aye?

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	66. Chapter 66: mass letters 3

**A/N I am sorry to inform you but England snaps in this batch of letters, I don't mean anything that England says or does. So sorry if your frightened by a PO'd pirate... Oh yeah! On a happier note since this is chapter 66 we have a six letter package!**

**LETTER 1**

England,

No, I had no right. None at all. It was unforgivable and downright rude. I should apologise and be sorry for that because it was not supposed to happen.

Are you alright? You are making me very worried! Do you need medicine? Some treatments? Help of any kind? England! Dont make me worry so much! It's not fun! DX You shouldnt make the people who care about you so stressed! Its unhealthy for all the parties involved. Daddy are you okay? D:

'you caught me'..? .. So it was true..? Oh I see. Thanks ah. Thanks a lot. It's always so heartening when you tell somebody you care and then just turn around and say "Just Kidding!" I feel very loved. You must have had so much fun. I'm glad I was able to help entertain you. Certainy happy that I was probably interesting enough. *sarcasm* Thank you so much, you always know how to make someone feel loved. *paper is wet with salty water. wonder what that is..*

Because everyone knows that lawyers are them most loved and appreciated people in the world right? And for the record, thats what you said the last time as well. Again before the comment on you lying to me.

..Do you like hurting me? Enjoying my pain?

..I'm better than that. Nice to know the person who raised me has so much trust in me. This is the end of my letter. It was enlightening writing to you. You have really brought up some fine and pressing points.

You Dont need to come either. I'm fine. You have to take care of yourself as your top priority. Its all for oneself in this world. I'm having a good lesson session. I'll have to thank you for that.

Not! Wasting Her Emotions And Tears,

Republic of Singapore

* * *

><p>Republic of Singapore,<p>

… I don't wish you to blame yourself for all this, dove. But if you are keen on making yourself depressed I won't stop you anymore. Since your obviously capable of taking care of yourself.

And nay, I'm fine. I am the one who should be worried about you. How might you be? Do you need anything? (other than the thing you have been stating to me over and over. I don't care what history says in your time I'm coming over there. Even if you are the 17th century version of yourself.) Damn I wish I wasn't stuck out here and was with you. But I have just been annoyed with this bewildering French ship on the horizon. I wonder if it's stuck out here too.. It is hurricane season I guess.

I don't mean it like that dove. I guess dark humor has changed a lot over the centuries, aye? And aye. I agree with you. I am awful with these kinds of things.. sigh.

I didn't mean lawyer in that sort. I meant lawyer as in your smarter than your most of the other people I know.. and can catch me at my own letter. And another reason is I care about you. Your my daughter.

I would never enjoy hurting you.

And I'm sorry you feel that way. I really am.

England

**LETTER 2**

Captain Iggy,

what i meant by anoying is that he yells a bout being the hero all of the time, not to mention all of the unheathy fast food he eats during world meetings. and all of the insults you to throw at each other, and the fist fughts you 2 have, here in the year 2011.

let's just say i never would have thought you to be the type to get a...

i will leave you to wonder some more Kesesese~

Awesome Gilbert

* * *

><p>Lowly welt,<p>

Much better, though I don't enjoy it.

DAMMIT GILBERT. If I didn't live a couple centuries before you, you would be dead by now and I would have shackled you to a cannon and thrown you into the ocean... Alfred would not do that at all.

For now I'll give you the black spot.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

**LETTER 3**

Ciao Arthur,

Aww, back to Angelica? I was just getting used to being called angel.

We were talking about why I didn't like you during your time period, and I mentioned Spain as one of the reasons. You threatened to rip his heart out.

I said that if you died, France would have to raise America.

So, because you're back to normal, do I get love again?

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angelica,<p>

I'll called you Angel... when I was drunk...

Spain? That bastard... I will gladly hang that evil hag any day of the week...

But I'm not dead yet, am I poppet? But I can see what you mean.. America would turn out... off kilter.

Fine, why not~

Captain Arthur Kirkland

**LETTER 4**

England,

So, what is life on a ship like? I would be more specific but I don't know what question to ask first.

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

On a ship? Well a hell of a lot different than it is on land. The floor is always moving under you, so when the sea is in turmoil there's not much you can do but stake down all the things you don't want lost over the side... should have done that with gift...

but, it can drive a man to insanity if he's not careful.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

**LETTER 5. **

Good day Captain Kirkland!

I am the time traveling fairy! Miku Kanada. Heres a letter

to show the major things that'll happen to you in the future:

1. Your dear little America will grow up into an annoying git.

2. America with revolt against you and gain inderpendance meaning he'll no longer be your coloney.

3. You'll no longer be a pirate, you'll become a punk then a self proclaimed gentleman.

4. You'll team up with America,France,China and Russia in a war against Germany, Italy and Japan and your side (the Allied Forces) win against Italy's (the Axis Powers) side.

I hope this helped in any way!,

Miku Kanada

* * *

><p>Miku Kanada,<p>

A faerie! It is an honor to meet you lass.

Answer to #1: Ha, fat chance. America isn't that snide.

Answer to #2: ….I feel l-like I have heard that b-before... N-no. It can't be real. Your all just barmy.

Answer to #3: Ha. I'll never look good in a suit. A waist coat and breaches fit me better.

Answer to #4: … Phht. Frog and I being allies? I doubt it. I'd rather be allies with a rock.

God.. I need another drink... I can't stand how you people constantly insult Thirteen..

Captain Arthur Kirkland

**LETTER 6 (*whimpers* t-this is the one where Iggy falls off his rocker... PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR IT~ BLAME THE PIRATE!)**

Captain Kirkland,

Ello!I'm Thailand,or Camara and it's boodly good to meet ya!Uh,well...…XPu-uh,AMERICA WINS HIS FREEDOM AGAINST YOU AND DUMPS ALL THE TEA IN THE BOSTON HARBOR-DON'T KILL MEEEE!*hides*

uh,yeaaah...the Revalutionary War...PLEASE don't change history...it would be very bad...think another World War... That would be bad...Plus USUK is very popular these days in 're NOT joking dude,I'm Future Thailand!

Ja-ne!(Japanese for goodbye)

Thailand*Cam*

* * *

><p>Thailand. *dark purple aura*<p>

I BLOODY WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE IF I HEAR ANYMORE TALK ABOUT MY BROTHER IN SUCH MANNER... NEXT TIME I'M NEAR THERE I'M GOING TO PAY YOUR PAST SELF A VISIT YOU WISH YOU HADN'T HAD.

I don't give a bloody care if some people are upset about USUK. I care about my brother- no you mess with any of my family and I will bloody mess with yours.

Snapped!Captain Arthur Kirkland

**A/N p-please don't hurt me for this... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...**

**England: Um. Well, heh, I guess I'll be doing the thanking in this letter. Thank you: Chibimilkcarton, Chillykitten101 (again, I apologise for bursting out at you.), yokolite, Chandinee Richards, Blarney-Imp, Sammakespancakes, Yukinothekoneko, Suboi Ari, Yokolite, verner 2, Wren-khat, Silent-pandimonium, minipeacemonkey, savannahaminga, Eva N-Changed her name, Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin, and last but deffinatly not least- Nutty-Nerd. If I have forgotten anybody PM me and I'll dedicate my next one-shot to you. (tis a depressing one about Russia in his early childhood.) **


	67. Chapter 67: New York 13

Uncle Arthur,

When you were drunk off your ass, you couldn't spell your name right. You called yourself Captain Arbor kerb-land.

*sigh* Why do you want to kill my pet? He's not that bad!

~Elena Jones (NY)

* * *

><p>Miss Elena,<p>

Ah... damn. That's annoying. Arbor Kerb-land eh?

Because lass, he's not a pet. He's a bloody bottom feeder.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P. yeah, I have been trying to keep these letters a secret but for some long tale it seems my whole damn crew found out about it... bloody wankers.. So if you want to specific type of crew-mate just ask.


	68. Chapter 68: Sam MP 9

Captian Kirkland,

I feel weird today. I started talking like you during my softball practice. "Hurry up and throw the blood ball!"

Ah, you'd be surprised Sir. The only thing that is truely wrong with me is that I'm directionaly challenged. Or bluntly, I DONT KNOW UP FROM DOWN!

Ok. I'll stop lying to ya. But for a small price~

Ah, why? Because he's... the hacking Hero~!

Aye, I know. But A lot of countries support Gay marrage. haha... I do. Oh and if you were here now, you'd have a heart-attack. The world is absolutly crazy right now... I want to be in your time period. ugh why was I born in this bloody time period... stupid mother nature...

oh good. i though I was about to keel over. Seaweed... ew...

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

Ha ha ha~ It seems my pirate is rubbing off.

Don't ever call me sir again, savvy? I'm a pirate- and will not be considered a sir. But if your that challenged with directions, why not talk to the aristocrat Austria. Then you two have something I common.

Everything comes at a price, spit it out.

Well, it's not much better in this one. All the other countries keep on breaking out into fights (not that I mind.) and there is so much bickering at all the European meetings I'm surprised I haven't gone deaf yet.

Las, if you've started saying keel instead of faint, you need to join my crew. Can you tie a decent knot?

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	69. Chapter 69: Ohio 3

Dear Old goat,

Well Iggy gigs if you are going to start insulting me you will have to do better then that. Lativa is even better then you and he only called me a broad mare that one time. And why would you feel sorry for dad other then to get in his bed am his little she demon as he calls me? Don't worry my cities are just like me in every way but Russia Jr. and Toledo (Denmark's) take after their fathers most. What does nary an inch from the truth mean any ways? And I am surrounded by a few lakes Идиот (idiot). You really eed to vist Poland soon. It is his language you dissed and hes soooo funny when angry. And yes you did do it too and need I remind you when Perry and I kicked your fricken ass with your navy along in it too. And thank you for the compliment I love it when people call me insane магнит бомбы (bomb magnet).I can't wait till you see the Boston tea partie it will break you heart!

см. вас в аде (see you in hell)

Martha (Ohio) Jones

* * *

><p>Dearest rejected hag,<p>

… I could be a lot worse on you if need be. But I must say you are rather pathetic if you chose to take all your anger from broken down marriages and rejections and pin them on one person in particular.

You dare challenge the great British Empire? If I didn't have a course already staked out to pirate this damned Spanish vessel I would have pinned you down as a child and killed you already.

A few lakes aren't deep enough to hold a ship- git.

God, what are they teaching you children now a days? It means your lying. So I then, in turn ask you: what does 'dissed' mean.

Do you mean perry as in the alcoholic beverage?

Brilliant. So now I must admit it is getting rather boring arguing back and forth with you. I probably could have had a more interesting conversation with a headless chicken.

I know your desperate, but please would you just quick pestering me.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>Verner2. I don't want to offend you, so if anything offends you tell moi and I will stop replying as harshly. Also, which Perry did you mean? Because there were a few. I think you meant Matthew Perry right? Because he was born later, so the pirate wouldn't know who he is.<strong>

**~Weaver**


	70. Chapter 70: Zane 1

Hello Great Uncle,

I am one of Ohio's cities. I am Russia

not to be confused with my father da! Mother says you like rum now and am not terrifed of me now! Why does mother dislike you so much? She has pictures of you up on a dartboard da. Mother told me to tell you that you still did it hat ever that means. Will you become one with Russia da?

Bye great old uncle,

Zane (Russia,Ohio) Jones- Braginski

ps- Dad asks if you will become one with him now.

* * *

><p>Ello bloke,<p>

Aye, so I heard. (from Weavers multiple explanations.)

Sorry lad, I have never been terrified of you. Though considering your a city your probably as close as it gets~

Why she want me dead? Not quite sure. I wish she'd stop harassing me though. It's hard enough avoiding hurricanes without her yelling at me through paper whenever I get a break.

I don't quite understand what she wants?

Just like your father... No. Sorry. I'm stuck somewhere right now.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Nay.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Theres a Russia in Ohio? I knew there was a city in Texas named Paris. But seriously?**


	71. Chapter 71: Sicily 11

Ciao Arthur,

Si. You said it fit me. *blush*

Please don't start a war over me. It's no big deal.

No, you aren't.

Yay! *hugs + kisses on cheek*

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

But my dear... it does fit you~

Well, they'll probably be one anyway.

That's right~ and I plan to stay living for as long as I can... or.. until I find that blasted fountain of youth thing that Spain kept jabbering on about... heheheh...

Thanks. With love,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Who is Arty going to end up with in the end~ YOU NEVER KNOW DO YOU? Well, let me explain. If history follows it's natural course England will remain the unsentimental harsh worded (as some of you have found out) pirate he is and should be. But we always have to serve fan-girl needs and wants, (USUK is in their natural diet.) so he might end up with America or France *shudders* if someone starts writing in as one of them. (I can't wait till someone starts as America or some historical person *nerdy history fangirl squeal*) Hope you guys have loved it so far, and god. (going to be) eighty or more letters in three days. DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND HOW FRIGGEN EPIC THAT IS TO ME? HAHAHAHAHAH~ I FEEL LIKE I CAN RULE THE WORLD WITH YOU GUYS AS MY PIRATE MINION- I mean. helpers... ahem. **


	72. Chapter 72: Thailand 2

C-captain Kirkland..

*cries*...*cries some more*

Arthur-*tear stains so it's unreadable*

please d-don't make me g-go get Mr. R-russia to kill you...

*sob*I-i haven't cried this much ever...*Cries*

This is Mandy Jones,Minnesota

Way to go,idiot..You made Thailand 's sensitive,god people!In 2003 you already broke her down!CAN'T YOU BE A GENLTEMAN YET?HUH!WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT DAD'S FREEDOM IS TRUE AND YET YOU MAKE A GIRL FLIPPIN' CRY?HOW SICK AND EVIL ARE YOU!If I see a letter like that again,bloodly f**cking git,you'll be sorry*Russia-like aura*

Mandy

*sigh*S-sorry ..i should of shut up...*holds back tears*

W-with a apology,

C-camara D-doswaila.

* * *

><p>Camara Doswaila,<p>

Sigh... I'm not going to bother answering to the hysterical one. But I apologize for snapping at you, it wasn't right of me to take my anger out on someone who hadn't been warned yet.

If your blaming your self than it's defiantly my fault.

No need to apologize dove,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Iggy's feeling pretty crappy about bursting out at people- he's ignoring the rum I have set out for him... But I understand. I don't know if I have mentioned this to you guys, but as you might have been able to guess pirate!Iggy has a soft spot for kids, I don't know why I'm telling you this now of all times but yeah, I mean you can see in the flash backs with baby America he breaks down from his usual irratible pirate self and turns into a fatherly figure with the kid. Thats how I'm going to make him for any other people like America who send letters- just prepare for fluff attacks... **


	73. Chapter 73: Singapore 5

England,

Are you unhappy with me? ..I didnt mean to make you so diappointed in me.. I'm sorry, I'll try to be a better daughter.. Then you'll be proud of me and like me more again. I'll try, I really will, so dont be sad anymore okay? I dont like it when you are sad or unhappy with me. I'm sorry I cant be something you can be happy about.. But I'll continue trying, I can change. Just.. wait for it okay? Please? Dont give up on me..

..If you are still wanting to vist me, thank you. You made me happy writing that. And its okay, coz you do care about me right? ..right?

But I am afaid that I would ask you to refrain. Really. Dont. No. No! Dont come visit me in my 1700s! It's too embarrasing! Aargh! Why did I do something so stupid? Really, just wait for the future and come visit me. Please. Wait untill the time you actually founded me..

Wait a minuite... You found me in the 1800's.. now is the 1700... Okay, who did you think I am because you obviously did not know that this is me. England, this is creepy.. you were talking to a daughter you didnt even know you had and then promised to visit even though you probably dont even know where she is...

Do you do that for everybody? Its.. not a very nice feeling. :(

Remember to come and find me okay? Dont deprive me of having a daddy. My other figure left me so long ago, and I did have fun when I was with you, even though you could be hurtful at times. Filial piety is very strong where I come from. I hope it goes the other way around as well. Even though I'm not your child yet..

Your Future Daughter

Republic of Singapore

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

Nay lassy. I'm nothing if not proud of you for standing up for yourself. Don't try and change yourself to fit others needs, savvy?

Aye, I don't know you. When I saw this letter Weaver had to fill me in on who you were.

I think feelings back where I am are a little more hardened than where ever you people are from the future. I'm sorry if that offended you. I didn't mean anything.

I will find you, history has it written down. So I will visit you and be father or whatever you need of me. I'm going to come and find you.

S-sorry lass, this letter will have to be cut short, I think I see a storm on the horizon...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>Fact: June is part of the storm season. Uh oh...<strong>


	74. Chapter 74: New York 14

Uncle Arthur,

Miss Elena? Where'd that come from?

): he's not a bottom feeder, he's my pet.

*paper is wet here*

He, sorry. The you from my time is here and drunk off his ass. ^-^ It's funny.

(England: I can you drink you any day you bloody-ginger! I'm the United bloody Kingdom and I can hold my liquor better then you any day!)

GIVE ME THAT! Sorry. I better go stop him before he hurts himself.

much love,

Elena Jones (New York)

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

What? Don't like it? Fine. What do you wish to be called then?

Hm... well... I guess I can't convince you otherwise.

Me from the future gets drunk easily too eh? Well tell him I accidentally sank our favorite ship the HMS Cormorant a couple weeks ago in a fight with Spain. That should sober him up. Either that or bring him to bloody tears.

Damn, that horizon is really starting to annoy me...

Much love,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>HMS: stands for hisher majesty's ship. **

**I made up the HMS Cormorant, unless there was one already in existance that I didn't know about.**


	75. Chapter 75: Sam MP 10

Captian Kirkland,

Sadly... I did it agian earlier... "Dammit, Nate! Keep you bloody hands away from my food, savvy?" Nates my little brother by the way... Savvy... I dont even...

Yes sir- I mean... captian... Dammit... directions are not very great with me... i got lost finding my own room...

Hahaha~! I want your rum~!

Hahaha just wait until you have America in your meetings~ Ah Italia will be also very annoying...

Yes I can~! I once tied French guy to a tree in the park one time~... my mom told me to tell him it was a game and I had to un-tie him... -sigh- On the bright-side he gave me a crossiant~! They are yummy~ like Scones~! but scones are better...~

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

Ha ha ha~ Aye. Savvy means understand, so your using it correctly.

No fret mate, Captain is what you call me if you work for me.

No. My rum-rum...

Ugh.. Bloody hell. Don't get me started on the Italian brothers... there hardly old enough to walk let alone sit through meetings...

You tied a Frenchmen to a tree? Well, if you have a time machine like Weavers that you can fit inside of a come here I'll welcome you aboard!

Scones are always better than frog food.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN sorry. I just had to add a bit of Jack Sparrow-isms to this one. XD **


	76. Chapter 76: Japan 6

Asa-san, then.

Please refer to me as Kiku as well.

I apologise, I belive that the whole naming of Iggy may have been influenced form me. My people refer to you is Iggirisu, which translates itself to England in your language. I belive it was America who heard it and then proceeded to call you a shortened version of it, thus the 'Iggi' or 'Iggy' from 'Iggirisu'

Please do not take any offense. Even Italia-kun was influenced by my names of other countries and has started calling Germany-san by my language, Doitsu-san. I did not mean it for it to trouble you.

Eh? You have never meditated before? That is most surprising. Meditating is to concentrate on oneself as a whole and try to understand the soul and body. It promots harmony between the physical and the spiritual, thus if done correctly, proves to be a very calming and enlightening experience. If you wish, you may try to do so, but alone as distractions may prove stressful.

Ano.. Yes? Is something the matter?

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Kiku-san,<p>

Nary problems mate. As long as your not calling me Iggy, I'm fine.

Germany got caught up in it too eh? The wanker doesn't no how to stop the Italian.

I need to try that sometime, but as for now I'm stuck on a ship that's about to be hit by a storm full of bloody pirates.

Nay. I'm fine, how have you been?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN ... I don't know what to write down here... normally I'll try drilling history into your brains but no one has mentioned anything in a while...**


	77. Chapter 77: Pennsylvania 1

Dear England,

Well jolly good, it's your pirate self! I was pretty young when you were a pirate, but you might remember me. Of course you remember me! I was your favorite, r-right?

..I'd be pretty depressed if you didn't remember me. You're half of my surname.

So what's been happening lately for you? Threatening Spain and stealing treasure? Sounds quite nice..

Sincerely,

The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania

-Elizabeth Kirkland-Jones

* * *

><p>Dearest Elizabeth,<p>

Ha~ Of coarse I remember you dove. And I love all of you (especially the original thirteen) equally.

Don't be depressed- I've had enough of people being depressed over one thing or another about my atributes.

Not much, at the moment I'm trying to avoid a hurricane- oops. There went the jolly roger.

em... I'll write back soon. The wind is blowing everything away.

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	78. Chapter 78: Ohio 4

Hello Male or are you female hag,

We were never married so were would you get that idea? And I'm the one that ended them. And I already did challenge you and you lost! Are you too stupid to remember and what did I lie about? Dissed means made fun of pirite are you ilitterate? And Perry is not a drink he is a great war hero from me! Oliver Hazzard Perry is a graet man and yes my great lakes its in their title jackass are deep enough to hold ships. Our you bored cause your lossing the argument? Yes your right I would have a more interesting conversation with a headless chicken at least they could fight back! What am I desprite for gentalman? And your right you are pestering!

Hauskaa, myrskyjen Ota syksyn mittaan (Have fun in the storms please fall over)

Martha (Ohio) Jones

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

W-would you please s-stop pestering me... at the moment I'm in a considerable enough amount of pain as is without you badgering me through mail...

B-but I need to say... How could you be calling me illiterate if y-you misspelled the w-word illiterate yourself?

*droplets of blood* D-damn... now it's bleeding...

Afraid t-that's already happened dove...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN In the second paragraph when he says that can't you picture him smirking as he's- oops. Can't tell you yet. :3**


	79. Chapter 79: Sicily 12

Ciao Arthur,

*blush* thanks.

True, true.

Why do you need a fountain of youth? You're a nation, you can't die.

you're welcome. :)

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

Y-your welcome...

Well, it sure bloody feels like I'm going to d-die considering the f-fact I'm being sandwitched underneath the mizzen... *drips of blood*- don't mind those. I don't think I'm bleeding to badly.. Thank god that bloody cannon is landed right next to me..

I-it hardly hurts... don't worry dove,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>READ IF YOU DON'T KNO- NEVER MIND. JUST BLOODY READ WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. <strong>

**A/N I know all of you (accept the ones who aren't) are thinking :_'what the H' is a mizzen? Is it like a typo and he's actually being smotherd to death by a giant mitten?_' well. Maybe you weren't think that- but it's was probably some variation. **

**Mizzen: You know how on most ships there on three masts? okay, so starting from the bow (front) to the end (I forget what thats called...) there are: the foremast- the medium mast which is the first one, the mainmast which is the tallest is in the middle, and the mizzen which is the smallest and which is currently squishing our piratey hero. **


	80. Chapter 80: Zane 2

Dear great Uncle,

Yes you are ever since 1889. I believe it has something to do with that world meeting near me that year. I went in to see grampa and Mother Russia. I thought you were Jamestown and hit you over the head with my shovel da. Sorry about that again. I don't know why mom wants you dead it was even before the war she started wanting you dead da! Once mother gets doing something she won't stop till she get really bored or acupied with something. No one other then Calumber, another one of my hafe-brothers ever get what mom wants ever exept for a few times! And thank you for the compolment! And why not become one?

Wish you well,

Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski

* * *

><p>Zane,<p>

Well, it's not even close to 1889 where I am r-right now..

So your who incapacitated me... damn that hurt...

B-because I'm in the bloody middle of nowhere! That's why! I've never even m-met you before.

thanks, I'll need it,

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	81. Chapter 81: America 1

Iggy,

Dude! Why didn't ya tell me you were answering letters? That freakin AWESOME! I should know, because I'M THE HERO!

~Alfred F. Jones (America)

* * *

><p>Thirteen,<p>

G-get back to your c-colonies this instant A-Alfred.. I don't want to have you get n-nightmares like you had last time I was hurt, I had to wash your sheets every night for a week. You d-don't want t-that happening again d-do you?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you! XD There is an obnoxious snoby American, finally! Thank you thank you thank you~ Chandinee Richards!**


	82. Chapter 82: Thailand 3

Captain Kirkland..

I-it's okay..don't mind Mandy, I'm one of her only friends,so she gets overprotective..I shouldn't of told you t-that..I shall avoid it.I hope thy can forgive thee for being a crybaby..

I.I should still shut up..I'm stupid,going and blabbering thing,getting people mad at me...then crying..it's a stupid cycle.I-incase you wanted it,here are some potato /slice the bag at the top and eat the chips.

Ja-ne..

Thailand

* * *

><p>Thailand,<p>

I'll t-try not to dove... ow. And I f-forgive ye. It's fine.

Nay... I-I enjoy p-people who a-aren't afraid t-to speak there m-minds.

P-o-t-a-t-o- c-h-i-p-s Is this some sort of code inscribed on the bag?

J-ja- ne..

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	83. Chapter 83: New York 15

Uncle Iggy,

He, you may get drunk *hic* easily, but you are a good drinking partner!

Elena! *hic* Everyone should call me El*hic*na!

OF COURSE NOT YOU DAMN BRIT! *hic*

The Cormorant? is that a *hic desert. It sounds like it.

What's the horizon doing *hic*? How is it annoying Uncle Iggy? *hic*

Much love,

Drunk!Elena Jones (New York)

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

How the bloody hell- oh. You took future me d-drinking.

W-why the devil a-are you yelling at me?

Er... no. Nay it isn't lass.

A-a storm... it was a storm... I'm being crushed by this bloody mast how the hell do you think I'm doing? Damn.. why does there have to be so many bodies..

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>HURRICANE! EVERYONE SCATTER! That's how I picture it. :3 Me and my sadistic brain... I'll leave you to make up your own clever story about how the ship was half-sunk~<strong>


	84. Chapter 84: Sicily 13

Ciao Arthur,

WHAT HAPPENED! How did you do that! Caro signore, where is your crew to help you? Why are they not helping you?

*smirk* Ma ripeto, non c'è onore fra i ladri, giusto capitano Arthur? Don't get yourself killed love. I need you alive.

~Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

W-we were trying to escape a storm... Then that b-bloody French ship came and shot us full of holes... I think I could even see that blonde frog laughing on board. All of our masts are down, one of them landed on me... damn giant heavy piece of wood...

Most are dead o-or being picked up by t-that French ship.. I don't think a-anyone has seen me y-yet. I p-probably look like another b-body. D-dammit... w-why does this thing have to be so bloody heavy...

WERE NOT BLOODY THIEVES. Were pirates... t-there is a b-big difference... And we have honor *blood spatters* Oh, I'm sure that wasn't supposed to happen...

Arthur Kirkland


	85. Chapter 85: Sam MP 11

Captian Kirk,

Really I am~? Yes~! I can't wait to see the look on my teachers face! That German speaking, wurst loving, wanker! Haha I TOLD her i knew a pirate... she though I was... barmy... xD

Oh really~? Can I work for you Captian~?

-stares- BAHAHAHAHAHA~! 'rum-rum~!' Ugh... then I want... -thinks- hehe -smirks- ohhhhh Kirkland~

Aye, I did tie a Frenchman to a tree~! R-Really? I'm honored... -grabs pirate hat and finds time machine-

...I think anything is better than snails...

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

Sorry to disappoint you lass, I can only be a captain when I have a ship.. I guess I have a ship but it's now a total wreck thanks to that bloody French ship.

I wish I had some with me.. It might null this damned pain...

y-you might not want to come just at the moment lass, my ships been wrecked...

Aye,

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN The correct name for a pirate hat is a tri-croner hat. But pirates stuck feathers and crap in them and people started calling them pirate hats cause of the diffrence. Or at least that's my distorted reasoning.**

**But it's true, a Captain is not considered Captain unless he has a ship. **


	86. Chapter 86: Silent Pandimonium 2

Dearest Captain Kirkland,

Thank you for the recipe, I haven't had the chance to try it out yet but when I have I will let you know. Ah no need thanking me good sir! A compliment is due when a compliment is due and it was due! Savvy?

A Gary Stue is basically a male character in a piece of fiction who is so handsome and flawless and sickingly perfect that it makes you wanna puke. (Hence my gratitude towards your author.) I agree with you on English beeing the best. It isn't that I don't like my native language it's just that at the end of the day Dutch will always soud like a softer but screwed up version of German. And on top of that Dutch is such a pragmatic language, in English you can still express yourself nicely without it getting too dramatic (like French, by Jove don't get me started on my French grades, it's so depressing.)

Anyway, with my next statement I know that I'm treading into dangerous waters so pleas hear me out before you blow up okay?

America is going to gain his independance, that's a fact which can't be changed, but instead of seeing it as abandoment you would do wisely as seeing it as the lad growing up and spreading his wings. In the end it will all work out for now he sees you as his brother and his father, but once he gains his independance he will be able to see you as his brother and his friend. (hope this eased your mind a bit)

Just one tiny last question, why are you stranded in the middel of the ocean? Did your ship run off coarse or do you have to lay down because of the hurricanes?

Lots of Love,

Silent Pandemonium

* * *

><p>Dove,<p>

Aye, I-I understand.

I'm nothing if n-not real lass. I am not some pansy Gary Stue e-either..

Ha~ The kings English will always rule!

… Thank you for making my day. *sarcasm* I now know what I'm not doing in the future to A-Alfred..

I'm out in the middle of this blasted ocean because I needed to seize a Spanish trading vessel. Supposedly it had treasure of some sort.

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN damn those blasted pansies. XD but I actually like Japanese and German better than English. Sorry Herr Iggster. I was thinking about starting a game, where I would write a letter through this and you guys would repond- so it would be the opposite of what were doing here. What do you guys think?**


	87. Chapter 87: Ohio 5

Dear Scottland,

When is our date coming up again?

wait I mean England,

Disgaud all said above. Are you ok? Not that I care other then that I didn't cause it! I don't go soft loser. Wait it's not spelled that way everyone in America spells it that way are you sure you aren't wrong, even Scottland agrees with me? Whats bleeding and why are you bleeding? Whats new you always fall overboard now anyways.

jet istediğimi olsun Tamam ölmek (get I mean just die ok),

Martha (Ohio) Jones

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

Oh joy, it's you again.

Bloody hell, I'm stranded out in the middle of the ocean in a slowly sinking ship trapped under a mast and that damned French ship forgot about me; And your asking if I'm okay? What the devil do you think?

I DON'T BLOODY CARE AT THE MOMENT ON HOW ONE SINGLE WORD IS SPELLED. I have bigger more important matters to a-attend to.

A-aye. I'm bleeding, I can't see it though so I'm guess it's not to bad. Either t-that or I'm in shock..

I haven't ever fallen over board. What the bloody hell are you talking about?

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Iggy's patients is starting to wear thin again... Who knows when he's going to snap...**


	88. Chapter 88: Zane 3

Dear great Uncle,

What year are you in now then da? Wait are you lieing to me how could you feel it if it didn't happen yet? Also get better I heard mom talking about you being hurt. Is it true da? Or is mom lieing for once outside of war?

Wish you well,

Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski

* * *

><p>Zane,<p>

It's 1691. What year are you in?

Aye, I be injured lad. N-not that badly though. Nay. Trust your mum. She might be a screaming banshee about somethings but she wouldn't lie about me being hurt, unless she gloating about being the one that hurt me; which she didn't.

Thanks lad, same to you,

Arthur Kirkland


	89. Chapter 89: Singapore 6

England,

Its good to know that you're proud of me now.. Do you still think you'll be proud of me in the future?

Oh, I see.. That was.. horrible of me to go complaining to a person who didnt deserve it... Sorry.. I take it all back.

Anyway, hmm, 1700's pirates were still pretty fond of me and China and the rest of my siblings took care of me too.. or rather took notice that I did exist..

Aha! Is that why you like me? Coz I was always a good spot for piracy? (I'm not anymore by the way) But you always did praise my harbours and waters.. Should have known that the person who named and officially founded me was going to be a pirate then..

Oh, er, keep in mind this person called Sir Stamford Raffles, and follow him when he goes exploring. Then you'll meet me! It was the 1819 when you found me so.. around that time, please go out!

Republic of Singapore

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

Of course I'll b-be proud of you. Your bravery and intelligence could rival most of the men I know, and give the others a good run for there money.

N-nay, it's fine lass. It makes sense for you to be upset.

Hm, your right. They also love any of the Caribbean islands too. And not just that lassy, your going to be my future adopted/daughter/relative/person... so I-I will care for you.

Stamford Raffles eh? I will.

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>READ. HISTORICAL. FACT. NOW. <strong>

**Men vs Women: back then, and up until womens rights were better established men had more of a say in: polatics, money, and probably what they ate for dinner that night. (Jk bout that last one. I have no idea.) And men were let into schools, more often that not women were considered lesser and stupider than men because they didn't have the right to get an education. That also explains why there were more men 'geniuses' than women because women couldn't educate themselves.**

**But later on the woman Rosiland Franklin would take photo 51 which was stolen by Watson and Crick. The two men who took the credit for descovering the shape of DNA. **

**Photo 51: The first detailed picture of DNA, you can probably find a picture of it online. To moi it just looks like an X and a circle but Rosalind knew a complecated mathematical sequence to figure out that it was a double helix. (the spirally thingy with the connector pieces, like somebody twisted around a ladder.)**

**So women are smart! Were jus not given enough credit for it! **


	90. Chapter 90: Thailand 4

Captain Kirkland,

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!WHATS HAPPENING TO YOU!D:*spazz attack*AHHHHH!*headdesk*

Uh,thank you forgiving me...OW!ALFRED!GOD,YOUR ANNOYING!STOP PELTING ME WITH...scones?WTF?

Uh...yeaaaah...that's not a code..um it like numbers and writing..have you tried them yet?

Hope your well,and blow up France's ship

Cam {Thailand}

* * *

><p>Thailand,<p>

Er?

I would if he hadn't already done the same to me. Damn froggy.

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN I need feed back on this question: I was thinking about making about four parts to this letter thing. Each part would be spaced a couple years a part from one another (as in jumping from 1691 to 1720) to let you guys mess around with some interesting chaercters like: Calico Jack, Anne Bonny, Mary Read, Black Beard, and maybe even some fictional ones too~ Please give me feed back! Danka! **


	91. Chapter 91: Blarney Imp 7

England,

That's very interesting...well it appeals to my mischeivous mind. Last time I was out on the water, on a sailboat, the motion of the waves put me to sleep. Then I found out I was on the wrong boat...that was a good time. Why am I telling you this? I don't know, I'm writing to you while I'm in a rambling mood. What happens if a member of your crew doesn't follow orders?

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

Nay, i-it' fine, I don't mind stories. There something I can tell Alfred whenever I'm trying to put him to sleep.

If one crew mate disobeys or won't follow orders than whipping would be done. If the entire crew doesn't follow orders than you've got a mutiny and they'll probably throw you over board and leave ye to drown.

Arthur Kirkland


	92. Chapter 92: Prussia 5

captain Iggy,

i told you he shouts 'i'm the hero' all of the time, you are going to have a rude awakening soon once he writes you more letters. he is no longer your little colony he is now the United States of America, the self proclaimed anoying hero.

and you get a tattoo of a...

i will leave you to wonder

AWESOME GILBERT

* * *

><p>Lowly welt,<p>

I'm not a Captain anymore. I don't have a ship. Or more of, I don't have a working ship. So belt up about calling me Iggy.

Says the man who randomly spurts I'm awesome into everyone's ears.

A tattoo? I already have plenty o' those mate. Another won't be a big deal.

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN ... how many tattoo's does england possess... o.e **


	93. Chapter 93: Romi Islands 1

Dear Arthur,

hello I am The Romi Islands, i went by a different name in your time period. can you guess who i am? can you tell italy that i am so sorry and that i will see him again one day? oh and tell france that i think he is a frog whore. and i sent you a pineapple cake, my small little known nation's specialty

Romi Islands

* * *

><p>Romi Islands,<p>

'E-'ello. Nay, I don't think I know y-you.

Aye. On both of those r-requests I agree to fulfill them.

You can't send things through mail. Weaver is now getting quite the collection of objects from people.

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Since I wasn't able to tell you guys yesterday... HAPPY BELATED CANADA DAY! We love you Mattew~**


	94. Chapter 94: Pennsyvania

Dear England,

No one can forget Pennsylvania, it's nearly impossible. I'm just so irresistible..ha. France especially can't help but be tempted by me. Then again he could find a hobbit sexy...

Do you have any countries working as your crew? I'd think it'd be pretty funny to see Prussia working for you or something of the like. D-don't tell him I said that..

Oh my! Best of luck trying to get out of hurricane.. and getting a new boat it seems..

Sincerely,

The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania

Elizabeth Kirkland-Jones

* * *

><p>Pennsylvania,<p>

…. A-ah, yes. Okay.

Any one under my rule ('cept for the young ones) have worked on this blasted ship.

Getting out of the boat more of...

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN ... I know I had something interesting to say... I just know I did... I just can't remember what it was...**


	95. Chapter 95: Ohio 6

Dear Injured Fool,

There is no need to yell at me! Its not my fault you lost to France and got hurt! Then wwhy did you nag me on how I spelled it last time! I can't believe I was starting to feel sorry for you I guess its true you can't ever change! You better not die I'm going to be the one to bring about your end not France or anyone else. And yes you have fallen over board before!

Till you die I shall hunt,

Martha (Ohio) Jones

ps- I sent some pain killers in the letter.

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

Gah... says t-the one who has been yelling at me this entire time. No it's not your fault. But you sure don't help the matter much.

Because I wasn't as focused on keeping this damned boat afloat all while trapped under a bloody piece of shite.

For what? Another man you can torment until he finally gets sick of you and wanders off?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Sorry guys. No physical objects can be passed through back to England. Thanks for the pain killers though~ **


	96. Chapter 96: Zane 4

Dear England,

Its 2011 here! Not that badly really cause mom is freaking out da! She keeps saing you can't die till she kills you and even sent you pain killers that aren't poisend for once! And mom isn't a a screaming banshee shes much louder. And she hasn't gloated over that since 1996 when she hit you in a flying tackle down 12 stories of stairs. You both were in the hospital da!

Wishing you well,

Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski

Ps will you become one with me when better da?

* * *

><p>Zane,<p>

Shouldn't the world have ended by then? Or has it an- ugh.. shite the thing is starting to tip into the water...

Okay... I have it balanced again.

Huh. I'll watch out in 1969...

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. … were nearly three centuries apart. I couldn't become one with you even if I wanted to.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Even for being an imortal nation... falling down twelve flights of stairs seems painful.**


	97. Chapter 97: Russia 1

England,

Will you become one with Ruusia yes? I desided to send you this letter as my son is doing so now. And I wan't to make sure you won't coruppt his da. Nein my love didn't make me wright this since she hates you! And if you make fun of my влюбленность (love) again in frount of me I will break you da!

Mother Russia will

Ivan (Russia) Braginski

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

_No._

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN poor Russia, he just got rejected in one word... :( **


	98. Chapter 98: Blarney Imp 8

England,

I noticed you didn't sign as 'captain'. Are you not a captain anymore?

Well, would you like for me to tell you the story? If not, then that's fine.

And it's just a whipping? Hmm...I'm a bit more bloodthirsty if someone doesn't do what I tell them for whatever reason.

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp<p>

A-aye. I need a ship to be a captain.

Sure, why not.

Not always, if you mess up real bad you might be left on a little unoccupied island. Or strapped to a cannon ball and thrown in the ocean. Sometimes they might keelhaul ya but that was less common.

Arthur Kirkland


	99. Chapter 99: Thailand 5

Arthur Kirkland..

I hope you okay!I sent a robot and a linflatable lifeboat with this the robot to help you like"Get this damn pole of me" and it will do 't run it through with a need it to blow the boat up."Inflate this boat" Is what you 't get it wet.:3

J-ALFRED!QUIT IT WITH THE SCONES!-a-ne!

Thailand[Cam]

* * *

><p>Thailand,<p>

Sorry lass... I can't use anything from the future. Weaver said it was the rules. But now she has a robot.

Thank you for your support..

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Again, no interactions are permitted by me to England because it might change the coarse of history if they suddenly find a robot that dates back to the 17th century at the bottom of the ocean. **


	100. Chapter 100: Sam MP 12!

**The honor for a hundred letters goes to... Sam-makes-pancakes! Thank you! **

* * *

><p>Captian kirk,<p>

Oh shite... -russia like aura- I will kill that bloody Frog...

-gets time machine ready-

Y-Your ok right? A-Ah... I'll help in anyway i can... I mean Weaver willl help... r-right? WEAVER HELP ME SAVE ARTIE!

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

I don't want other people thinking I'm a pansy. I'll do it myself. Thanks for the o-offer though lass.

I'm bloody swell. O-other than the fact that I'm slowly being crushed to death on a sinking ship. Other than that I'm fine. *sarcasm*

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN ... W-we got over a hundred letters... in less than five days... oh my. THANK YOU GUYS! I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND YOUR AMAZING! *faints* **


	101. Chapter 101: America 2

Iggy,

Dude, what are you talking about! hold on I'll come save you! 'CAUSE I'M THE HERO! Plus, the states can take care of themselves for a little bit.

Your hero,

Alfred F. Jones (America)

* * *

><p>Alfred,<p>

No! I-I'm fine. I really am. Just don't interfere.. I don't w-want you hurt, savvy?

Ha. From what I have seen from them they can hardly keep themselves from strangling each other. I mean have you seen the relationship between New York and Massachusetts? There going to wind up killing each other some day. Oh yeah, that reminds me. Your daughter New York is dead drunk. So stay away from her. I don't want you hurt.

Y-yeah lad,

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Aw... that's cute how Arty think he's still a little colony!~**


	102. Chapter 102: New York 16

Uncle Iggybrows,

Yeah! *hic* you're a good drinking partner! *drunk giggle*

Be*hic*cause, I don't like being called miss! *hic*

*drunk lass* Lass you sound sottish~ he he *falls off chair* ow~ :( *gets back on chair*

AW! Poor Uncle Eyebrows! *hic* Bodies? ZOMBIES! RUN! *hic*

mucho love,

Drunk!Elena Jones

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

Sigh. I won't yell at you considering the fact that you have b-been drinking..

Yes your _majesty _

Scottland? Pah. I'm nothing like that bastard brother of mine.

….

Arthur Kirkland


	103. Chapter 103: Sicily 14

Ciao Arthur,

*curses in Italian* He has no sense of decency at all.

Be careful Arthur, they might throw you overboard.

Pirates who plunder and rape. Si, there's so much honor there.

Like I said before, don't die on me capitano.

~Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

Well it's not like I've not done the same thing to him before too... heh heh~

There i-is no one else here now... No. Not true. Never mind Morris the cat is here. He has been helping by sitting next to me and playing with the feather in my hat- it's quite entertaining actually.

Do I really seem like the raping type to you poppet?

Well, you guys might have already changed the future considering most of you have told me what is going to happen. Who knows the powerful nation of England might go down to the bottom of the ocean trapped under a mizzen.

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Maybe you guys can coax that story out of Arty some time. Blowing France out of the water~ chee hee hee..**


	104. Chapter 104: Singapore 7

England,

Bravery? Really? I know I'm intelligent, my education system says much about that. (Though I did follow your system of marking) What makes you think I am brave?

..It may have been justified.. Doesn't mean its right. And I really probably made a horrible impression on my future father... :/

My waters are always a selling point! :D Especially with NEWater! I have my own drinking water now. So I'm making myself more self-reliant... Thank you.

Please do! I would be nervous at first, but I know that would change...

Republic of Singapre

p.s, take care of yourself. I heard your situation. I hope evrerything would be okay..

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

You a-are able to stand up to a ex-Captain. So I w-would consider that bravery.

N-nay, it'll be fine. Nary a worry lass.

Drinking water hm? That's good. Your welcome dear.

G-good.

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I-I'll try. No need to worry, I can see a ship in the distance.

* * *

><p><strong>AN SHIP! WOOOT HE'S SAVED- or is he... **


	105. Chapter 105: Ohio 7

Dear Scorn,

You have fallen dowbn from your thrown as captain! And you still blame everything on me still you idiot! Oh like I haven't heard that before you still don't keep to what you say now do you? And what do you mean till another man you can torment until he finally gets sick of you and wanders off? Are you inpling that my love life is horrid? Or that I torment you for no reason you are the one that started this all those years ago!

Please die I don't care by who now!,

Martha (Ohio) Jones

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

It's Scourge. Not scorn. Scorn isn't even a word to address someone as. I think you need to fix your speech before you come back and try and taunt me again.

That makes just about as much sense as me becoming a gentleman. There is no thrown when your a captain. Only a ship and a crew. I think your just desperate to get back with me~ and your expressing it by threatening me and bestowing me with such gentle comments.

Well considering the fact that you tried to hook up with: Russia, Denmark, and I apparently. All in the past couple hundred years you were alive I'd consider that a pretty awful one.

But ha~! *sing-song voice* I-got-saved-by-a-ship~ I-got-saved-by-a-ship~I-got-saved-by-a-ship~ What-ya-gonna do 'bout _that_ wench.

Not going to die because I'm saved~

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Iggy can be an a$$ when he wants to. But I am still not quite sure on you blaming him for something that I don't even know what it was.**


	106. Chapter 106: America 3

Iggy,

Dude, I'll be fine! I'm a superpower ya know!

When needed they can act like adults.

I heard. New Jersey called me, and I had to run over there to make sure she didn't so anything. Kids first, ya know. By the time I got there, you two were both passed out drunk. Wait, hold on you're waking up...

(England: what the hell happened...HOW DID I GET HERE!)

Looks like I have some explaining to do!

your hero,

Alfred F. Jones

* * *

><p>Alfred,<p>

…. Ha! I'm so proud of you! Your finally a superpower~ Ha-ha~

Really? That's surprising.

Ugh... Tell him that the Viper sank today... He should sober up...

Yeah,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Whats up with this new name of yours Lad? You changed it to Jones?

* * *

><p><strong>AN I can see a drunken depressed pirate at the end of this... **


	107. Chapter 107: Zane 5

Dear Uncle,

Why should the world have ended by now? Nien it has not. Is your ship sinking oh god this is bad da! Yeah you should though mom isn't as angry at you as times when Prussia is drunk and comes in Ohio. She had him baned from the whole state da! Though she still hates you more and only really tries to hurt you. Do you know if you made her angry lately cause she almost burned the you here at the stake it took grampa, dad, Denmark, China, and a drunk Prussia on her lands to stop her!

Wishing you well,

Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski

PS- do you even want to become on with me?

* * *

><p>Zane,<p>

Why the bloody hell are you speaking German? You sound like that Potato Wanker. Prussia? I'm surprised that wanker isn't dead yet considering the fact that every time I see him that wench with the frying pan always beats him into the ground.

…. Why the bloody hell is she angry at me if there the ones who stopped her from killing me? That hag holds grudges I don't understand. I should probably go to Ohio the next time I see America and put an end to that wench.

Thanks lad,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I'd prefer to stay as my own country.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Nein is German for no. I think the word for no in Russian is Nyet.**


	108. Chapter 108: Japan 7

Asa-san,

I must admit, you seem much more uh.. less uptight then when you did in the future.

Yes, unfortunatly. I have tried to convince Italia-sn not to, but by the time I managed to get him to thhink about it, Doitsu-san seemed to like it somewhat.

Ah.. Please be careful.

I have been fine. Although this should be the period in time when I was in isolation. I apologise for my actions, but I do belive that time was needed in order to heal and learn the lessons that needed to be taught. Next time, please have the courtesy to inform me of your departure. I believe it would have hurt less if that was the case.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Kiku-san,<p>

I should say the same considering you (Edo-period-you) threatened to shoot at me every time I got near you.

Who?

I'm fine now. Thank you though.

Aye. It's fine.

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN I'm sorry Japan~! I didn't mean to forget you.**


	109. Chapter 109: Russia 2

England,

Why not become one with mother Russia now da? Everyone will become one with me even if by force da? Nien none can excape their fate!

Mother Russia's will,

Ivan (Russia) Braginski

Ps- In the future lisen to the song mother knows best! It was made for me!

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

No bloody way. I'd rather become one with that damned frog rather than you. Why are you speaking German too?

Mother Russia can go fall off the edge of the Earth for all I care, wanker.

England

P.S. I share no need to waste my time with musicians.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Iggy might not- but I will listen~! I love music! XD**


	110. Chapter 110: New York 17

Uncle England,

Thank you. *peaks out from under covers* it's still to bright!

I've got a splitting headache from drinking. God, why do I do stuff like that.

Your majesty? I like that. You may call me that.

Is he really that bad?

much love,

hungover!Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

Pathetic. *sarcasm*

Because lass, it feels good while it's still got it's hold over you.

no.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN When Iggy says pathetic he's just trying to poke fun at you. He's exactly the same way if not worse when it comes to hangovers, he just won't show it when he's on his ship. ('cept he's not at the moment) **


	111. Chapter 111: Sicily 15

Arthur,

The great nation of England, drowned. *laughs* tell me how hell is.

*red spatter* opps. Sorry. Ignore that. I was just teaching France something.

~Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

I'm not dead yet. Though I thought I might die of boredom in that damned courtroom when that Spanish paedophile charged me with piracy.. bugger. But since they can't kill me there probably going to send me back to England to be yelled at by some higher-up/VIP that some one told me looks like a herring in a dress.

Good. He deserves it. But may I be the one to end that frog's life?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Sorry about me not updating. I'm going to be traveling so I can update at four in the morning tomarrow when I'm on the plane! *sarcasm* oh joy. **


	112. Chapter 112: Patches 1

Dearest England,

So, you're a pirate, eh? It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. I'm Ontario-...one of Canada's provinces. You can call me Patches, for the time being.

I just wanted to say hello, as I haven't had the chance to really meet you- up until now, that is. I just wanted to ask, would you be able to handle another pen-pal? Or is the great Arthur Kirkland stuck with full hands?

Do take your time, and keep safe.

Patches.

* * *

><p>Patches,<p>

'Ello. I've never heard of you. But it's nice to meet new people. (I'm writing that in the loosest of ways so we can include our 'dear' friend Ohio.)

Nay. I can take you on. I'm trying to answer every letter.

Thanks you too,

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you The Bullet Sponge for writing in as Patches~! **


	113. Chapter 113: Sam MP 13

Captian,

NONSENCE! I'll help you first.. then I'll kill Wine'O!

Dude, pansy or not... I'LL HELP~! I'll get the America from my time to be Heor too~!

Sam~

* * *

><p>Sam,<p>

I'm not a captain. I'm stuck in a cell and being taken back to m'home port.

I'm going to kill that wine bastard first. He sinks my ship. I sink his...

You can't even come back to this century? How do you suppose your going to help?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Englands PO'd at France.. (when is he not?) He'll probably try and kill whoever signs in as France. XD **


	114. Chapter 114: America 4

Iggy,

Dude, of course I'm a superpower! I'M THE HERO!

Hey! They're the hero's kids. Of course they can act like adults. They just chose not to. Right New York?

(NY: ouch~ my head still hurts. England, I'm never drinking with you again.

Iggy:same here.)

Iggy, past Iggy would like me to tell you the viper sank today.

(Iggy: WHAT! BLOODY HELL! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?) *shrug*

your hero,

Alfred F. Jones (America)

P.S: It's a long story.

* * *

><p>Alfred,<p>

I can't express my pride in words lad.. I'm sure the future me has already praise you aye?

Aye. Viper... she was a good ship. France damn you...I swear I'm going to skin him while I still have power left in me...

… *smiles slightly*

Arthur Kirkland (England)

P.S. … Care to tell?

* * *

><p><strong>AN I can tell the future... If spoken thy tale of woe and revolution h- WE INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM WITH SOME BRAKING NEWS WEAVER'S LOST HER MIND!**

**...**


	115. Chapter 115: London 1

HEY!

WANKER! Would you stop spending so much time with your bloody colony and come home for a bit? I'm getting bored.

Also, the King said that if you didn't spend a bit more time at home, he'd cut of BOTH of our rum supplies and I swear, if I stop getting rum 'cos YOU'RE too busy with Thirteen, there's going to be SERIOUS trouble!

Yours lovingly (I'm being sarcastic ^_^)

London,Alexandra(Alex)Kirkland.

P.S Dublin told me that Ireland's planning on...'surprising' you when you get back, so be careful.

* * *

><p>Oi,<p>

Sludge face! But he's much more interesting than any of you. So go and wank' yourself would to keep yourself from being bored. You seem to be like France with those sorts of things.

… Why the bloody hell would he do that? I'm bringing back a percentage of the 'profit' I make at high seas and he's angry about it?

Good for you. Go join Ohio in my band of haters that I don't understand.

England

P.S. Oh joy. Oh rapture. I'm stuck in a prison cell being shipped off to England and he want to throw me a surprise party. I can't wait~ *sarcasm*

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you Koneko on Lyoko for writing in as London~ chee hee hee~ This story is developing itself. I didn't plan for any of this to happen! XD **


	116. Chapter 116: Leeward islands 1

Hello, Captain Kirkland!

You might not remember me, as I am a rather small group of islands that you, Spain and France decided to lay claim to...

...I'm the Leeward Islands, yes. Part of the West Indies. I'm a fairly new colony, and so I decided to send a few letters so you'd remember me because it gets a little lonely as only being a group of islands that no one really knows about or pays attention too, and-

*is blushing slightly and rambling*

Well, I was just wondering how you were, seeing as you were shipwrecked and all, and maybe I can try to get some people to help you out.

Maybe we can even try to get you a new ship. I can try and blackmail Francis into something, or maybe you'd prefer if I stole one of Spain's ships *starts giggling evilly*

~Charlotte "Lottie" Altimonte (the Leeward Islands)

* * *

><p>Lottie lass,<p>

Of course I remember you dove! I hope France hasn't done anything to terrible to you.. Or Spain for that matter just look at how Romano turned out...

I wish you could, but seeing as were 300 years apart it wouldn't do much good.

Arthur Kirkland (England)

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thanks alot guys~ And thank you HimuraRen for writing in as the Leeward islands! yay~**


	117. Chapter 117: Quebec 1

Hello, Captain Kirkland!

You might not remember me, as I am a rather small group of islands that you, Spain and France decided to lay claim to...

...I'm the Leeward Islands, yes. Part of the West Indies. I'm a fairly new colony, and so I decided to send a few letters so you'd remember me because it gets a little lonely as only being a group of islands that no one really knows about or pays attention too, and-

*is blushing slightly and rambling*

Well, I was just wondering how you were, seeing as you were shipwrecked and all, and maybe I can try to get some people to help you out.

Maybe we can even try to get you a new ship. I can try and blackmail Francis into something, or maybe you'd prefer if I stole one of Spain's ships *starts giggling evilly*

~Charlotte "Lottie" Altimonte (the Leeward Islands)

* * *

><p>Lottie,<p>

Of course I remember you dove! I hope France hasn't done anything to terrible to you.. Or Spain for that matter just look at how Romano turned out...

I wish you could, but seeing as were 300 years apart it wouldn't do much good.

Arthur Kirkland (England)

* * *

><p><strong>AN grazie WammyboysFTW (interesting name...) for writing in as Quebec! To bad England doesn't know you!**


	118. Chapter 118: Ohio 8

Dear Scorn,

Thats how I say it. Don't you speak english oh wait no you speak French or should I say frog? Its an expression saying that you failed terrably and lost your ship captain. Wait are you asking me out? Cause no way will I date you I'm dating Scottland. Oh ya before I forrget he gave me a ring! Well Russia, Demark and I did hook up or should I say made an aliance (smirks)? And what do you mean by threatning I've actauly done it here. So you saved by a ship what favorers do you have to do for the captain and crew (smirks and laughs). Are you a slut? Oh goody that means I can kill you hear. Too bad I was stopped last time.

You're soon to be sister-in-law,

Martha (Ohio) Jones

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

You just can't stand I outsmarted you there. So you go rebellious when it comes to petty matters.

Oh bloody hell, would you stop showing off wench. No one cares about being a bloody state who is friends with a few nations. Your even friends with a kid~ You should see Russia where I am. He's an adorable little grub. Too bad I'm going to slit his throat the next chance I can get at him~

Eh. What should I care. If you do you know Alfred would avenge me, same with the rest of the allies. Even France and Russia because they would be the one who would want to kill me in the first place. And most of the entire world would annex you and then attack. So you see, being a country has it's benefits.

Bloody hell would you please just go wank yourself and leave me be? I don't bloody care if you don't have a life.

God. I thought mother-in-laws were suposed to be the annoying ones,

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Wait. Why does Ohio bother replying if she hates him so much?**


	119. Chapter 119: Zane 6

Dear Uncle,

Sorry about that guess I've been spending too much time with Cleveland then da! Well Prussia is no longer a country da! But is now East Germany that really makes mother angry! I have no idea what mom would be angry with you other then that you brought up Native America oh... now I get it. Mom's capital is their kid da! She thinks that you Spain and France are the reason he's dead. Why do you want to kill mom now not that its different from the you here. Did you know mom almost married a human a few hundred years ago that was a templar. Or was he the actular Templar the knights of the Templar dude? I don't remember.

Wishing you well,

Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski

Ps-mom's getting married!

Zane,

Huh. Sorry. I'm trying to give a damn about that hag of a mother but can't seem to.

Templars? The Templars died out before she was even born. That doesn't make any sense.

Thanks, you too,

England

P.S. Don't you feel sad or something? I mean, your mom's practically a parasite considering how many people she's done it with. It's disgusting.

* * *

><p><strong>READ IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE TEMPLARS WERE<strong>

**The templars were a group in Europe during the Crusades. Considering what England said the Templars existed from 1119 to 1314. So Ohio wouldn't know about them because she wasn't born yet. And that she lived in the America's.**


	120. Chapter 120: Blarney Imp 9

England,

Aw that's not good...what happened?

Ok...well I was going on my friend's sailboat on night(we were going to drink a few and I was going to rob her blind in poker) and there is another sailboat that looks just like her's at night. So I walked onto the other boat and fell asleep in a hammock waiting for my friend. I woke up when I was flipped off the hammock by the boat owner's wife. She thought he was cheating on her and he thought I was a robber. So there was this huge misunderstanding, we were all arguing, I was trying to get my side of the story in and they were starting to back me off the boat. They finally listened to me and we had a good laugh. Afterwords I ended up playing poker with them and forgot my friend. So when I got back on land my friend wasn't too happy...that's sugar coating it to a point where it's unrecognisable.

Aside from that...those punishments are ones I would be more inclined to do...

Blarney-Imp

((author: true story by the way...my friend was furious.))

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

Finally, someone I can talk to that actually uses reasoning.

Ah-ha-ha-ha~ I have got to tell that to Thirteen~

I agree. It's annoying when people don't pay attention.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN I'll bet she was! XD **


	121. Chapter 121: Maryland 1

Dear Ig (I'm calling you that anyways because I think it sounds cuter),

Hiya! I'm the state of Maryland just writing to say hi, and that our ports are open to you anyday now! Oh wait, you don't come here anymore becuase of July 4th...*eyes widen* PRETEND I DIDNT SAY THAT! Just becuase of something in the future. *breathes normally again* Um.. so yeah...*finishes cheeseburger with crab ontop*. Oh, you have any rum? I ran out... *sigh* P.S. Alfie says hi too!

-minnieluvbug12: State of Maryland

* * *

><p>Maryland,<p>

Ig? I'm not cute!

…. I'm going to ask Alfred 'bout that... Maybe he knows...

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Gracias minnieluvbug12 for your contribusion of Maryland!**


	122. Chapter 122: Thailand 5

Arthur Kirkland,

*pouts*damn...you okay now?You're not stuttering..):3...Are you /still\ going to 'give past me a visit I don't want'?Aka,Murder me or something?or are we cool?I honestly don't know...

I hope you're well,

Ja-ne!

Thailand-Cam-

* * *

><p>Thailand,<p>

Nay. I'm just back in England. And just got griped at by the king.

I am not going to kill you. Just Ohio... And Frog-face.

Thanks, you too,

England


	123. Chapter 123:Romi islands 2!

I'm Holy Roman Empire er... was i mean

Romi

* * *

><p>Romi,<p>

…. So the Holy Roman Empire finally crumbles eh?

England


	124. Chapter 124: Singapore 8

England,

Ex-captain.. Doesnt sound very glamorous. Oh well, I'm sure you would ba able to find another ship and crew soon. You are my future father.

But you know, tantrums doesnt choose who to or who not to lash at.. I would probably have lashed at nyone had it been the same... Point being that I lashed at a pirate version of my Father figure.. how embarrassing.

.. I would probably give you a hug if I could right now...

Republic of Singapore

ps. Please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe *prays*

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

Aye, I agree. But now I'm going to a pub to try and recruit a crew.

Ah well. I don't care to much lass. Just wait till 'yer first date then I can embarrass you~ *sarcasm*

Well, I'll see you in the 1800's.

Tat ta~

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I'm fine. Nary a worry lass. I'm safe.. unless the one of the counsellors *cough*theannoyingonewhodoesn'tlikemepiratingthings*cough* decides I shoul'd be put in the stocks or something.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Well, I have to get up at four in the morning tomorrow. So try and not barage me with letters.**


	125. Chapter 125: Japan 8

Asa-san,

Do you mean in my Sakoku period? Ah yes.. My isolation was a very trying time for me. You had left without a word and I was very disoriented at the sudden loss of your presence.

Of course you did try come back on your "Returner", but unfortunately, I was still bitter at you. Let me apologise for that. It takes time for some wounds to heal.. I believe you would know of that from my threats to kill and my requests for you to leave me and my land alone.

Eh? I am afraid I do not understand. Surely you know of Doistu-san and Italia-san.. You responded to them in your previous letter..

I am glad you are safe and well.. It would be extremely tragic if you had died. Of course being a nation you would still return, but.. Eh? Ah, excuse me.

I hope you have taken my words seriously Asa-san. I do not wish to be hurt like that again. Especially from the same person.. I fear that should something like that happens again, it may take more that two hundred years to recover as a person.

Japan

Honda Kiku

Weavar-san,

Daijoubu desu. I am sure you must have had some pressing matters on your mind to make you lose focus on this. Even so, thank you for sending this to him. I wait patiently for his reply.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Kiku-san,<p>

Yeah, my apologise 'bout that governor. I wouldn't have but seeing as we almost have no choice in the matter.

Nary an apology needed. It wasn't really you, in fact the you-you back in my time you. Was not at all like you and was you-ishly un-you. So what I'm trying to tell you is that the you from my time is different from you you so you don't have to apologise about you... being you. Savvy?

Ugh... I know of them... I'm surprised either are old enough to attend any of the meetings let alone run a country.

No worries. You worry to much Kiku. If you knew Thirteen maybe that could get you to be less tense.

Of course. I can understand completely. I will follow your request to the best of my ability.

England

* * *

><p>Japan-sensei,<p>

I am sorry that I missed your last letter. Your culture has taught me so much I wouldn't want to disappoint you. Feel better okay? I know that earthquake/tsunami struck you rather recently and it would be tragic for you to not make a full recovery. So I made these! *gives you a head band with cat ears on them* hope they bring comfort in your time of need~

Weaver


	126. Chapter 126: India 1

Oh, hello, hello, hello there, Kirk'land.

Surely you haven't forgotten me, have you? Your little interest of the seventeenths?

I haven't forgotten you. My people haven't either. You'd better pray for your future because it certainly isn't pretty for you, /aziz/.

I loved your stories, y'know. Those bewitching little tales you spun me. Fictional daydreams. What was that? 'Greatness.' Your honorable Company can sink in my oceans with all its loot, and I'd be all the happier.

Of course it didn't, but I'm still happy...

India

[Reviewer's note: Worldsweaver, you are epic. This idea is insane. xD

Of course, pirate!England wasn't the one looting India, but to her they're one and the same. Pairing hinted at. Victoria /was/ the old biddy who declared India the 'Jewel of the British Empire'~ so yeah.]

* * *

><p>Oh hello, hello, hello there India,<p>

Of course I haven't forgotten you... And I'm going to find a better, safer route to trade with you. Before any of those idiots get their and molest you or something.

What company? I don't own any that use nautical trading with _you. _

That's good... Um, so are you now going to join the band of people who hate future me?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN sigh.. poor England, he's sarcastic mouth will someday get the better of him... But thanks to Buttonesque we now have India! Gotta catch 'em all! XD**


	127. Chapter 127: Blarney Imp 10

England,

I could say the same...I didn't think spending the day with my entire family could drive me to insanity in less than four hours. It usually takes longer. It's not fun cooking for sixty picky eaters that are all crazy...

Go ahead...I have a million more stories, I have that kind of luck.

And I know what you mean about people not paying attention. I try to tell my little cousins stories all weekend but as soon as I finished a story they told me they weren't listening. They're lucky they are family...and cute.

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

That's how it is at the meetings...

Aye, when your around for as long as I am it's about the same way.

Ha-ha, it's like Thirteen. I'll be trying to read to him the 'Philosophae Naturalis Principia Mathematica' and he'll be asleep in my lap before I get through the first section!

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN "Philosophae Naturalis Principia Mathematica" was a book England mentions giving chibi!America in the first Hetalia manga, I think he also mentions it in the anime too.**

**BUT I'M SO EXCITED! *hyperventalating* THE PLANE FINALLY LANDED AND NEW YORK IS SO DIFFRENT! AAAGAHHH! *Ko'd from jet-lag* zzzz~**


	128. Chapter 128: Romi Islands 3

you don't like me, do you?

Romi

* * *

><p>Romi,<p>

It's not that I don't like you. It's just that it was starting to get nervous when you were conquering everyone.

England


	129. Chapter 129: Michigan 1

(Me: DAMN IT! AMERICA WAS TAKEN!

...DAMN IT! MARYLAND WAS TAKEN!

Uhm...I doubt I cans take anyone at this point... *sobsob*

OH WAIT HELL YEAH! THERE'S NO MICHIGAN TAKEN...IS THERE? (oh well, if there is, please disregard this stupid review, and i apologize for stealing him. lol) )

Mich: Sup England.

I wasn't one of the colonies when you were around, but I am now~

I love the water too, but instead of the ocean, I have the great lakes. I even have one named after me! I'll bet it's not the same for you~

By the way, if you wanna know what happened...er, "happens" today, then don't come down on us states. Just ask Alfred..or ask your "present self"...actually, ya know what? Just forget about it altogether. Ya don't want to change anything IMPORTANT in our state lives-er, world lives for that matter...

Later,

Michigan

* * *

><p>Michigan,<p>

Ah.. Okay, thank you for telling me.

I'm an island. I have the ENGLISH channel. I don't need any lakes. (I have a fair share though.)

You confuse me. You know that?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thanks 'my pen is mightier than my sword' (I love that pen-name XD) for writing in as Michigan! That's somewhere I would like to go sometime in my life!**


	130. Chapter 130: London 2

HI :)

'Much more interesting' you've got to be kidding me, I remember the time you took me to met him. Don't get me wrong the kid's full of energy, but seriously, I don't know how the hell you can stand him.

AND DON'T EVER COMPARE ME TO THAT FROG!

He knows that, but, he said that he's been thinking a lot lately and he's decided that just for a bit, it'd be good that you spend some time at home. Although, since your being shipped back, I suppose that doesn't really matter anymore.

I don't hate you, you're my dad, I'm obliged to put up with you. We still have our good times...occasionally.

Enjoy your trip home

London

P.S Ya know, if you're in prison, we could always do that thing that we did a few years ago...oh wait, that wasn't you...just forget I put that.

* * *

><p>London,<p>

Well, considering the fact that I had to put up with you and a dozen others, you get used to it after a while.

Fine, fine. I won't compare you to frog-face.

Huh. Never knew the king cared for my family life.

Aye. Your right. Your my kin.

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Your interesting me. I don't know... I have done a lot of things in prison. But I'm already out of the cell so I guess I'll be waiting for that surprise. Thanks for the heads up though.

* * *

><p><strong>AN England always seems like the kind of person who loves children- but can't stand adults. He'd rather be off plying in a field rather than in a board-meeting. What do you guys think?**


	131. Chapter 131: Maryland 2

Ig,

Yes, u are cute in an, er, piratey way? A handsome piraty way! Anyway, Al cant talk right now because him and I are setting off fireworks (things that go BOOM! in the sky- ask tinker bell, she does it every night in disney) for a...holiday... He still says hi!

Best wishes,

Minnie: The State of Maryland

* * *

><p>Mary,<p>

I-I am not! (Weaver: He's blushing like a tomato. It's adorable~) YOU'RE NOT HELPING WENCH!

Huh. Okay. Tell the fairy I say hi.

Thanks,

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN I love it when you guys embarass Iggster. He's so funny looking when America's letter comes.**


	132. Chapter 132: New York 18

Uncle England,

You're not doing so much better here you know.

Yeah, but you would have though I would have learnt by now not to... Oh well.

*hugs*

much love,

Elena "New York" Jones

P.S: *sends weaver pizza* enjoy!

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

Finally! Ha-ha-ha~ Someone who uses the correct English! No silly 'learned' it's learnt! Yes! Take that frog face and whoever else uses that term!

What is this for? It's not even a proper sentence?

Arthur Kirkland (England)

* * *

><p><strong>P.S. Weaver: PIZZA! *launches herself at England who's holding the pie.* (nom) You know (nom) by tomorrow (nom) I'll be in (nom) New York city(nom) so I can (nomnomnomnom) get my own pizza~ but (nom) thanks!<strong>


	133. Chapter 133: Sicily 16

Arthur,

*groans and reads letter*

AH! How did spain get you? I though you were trapped under a mast...

Christ my head hurts. I really have to stop doing that.

No, you can't end France's life. I nearly did that. I'm sure you're gonna be knocking at my door any second to yell at me.

much love,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

It's a long story. But basically a Spanish ship spotted the wreckage and found me. Since I was dressed as a pirate they took me under the charge of piracy. But since I was a country they couldn't legally punish me, so they shipped me back to England for the king to yell at me.

Damn, but I waaaaaaaannnnttt to kill him mummy! *sarcasm* The Island of Britain shall be controlled by no one! *gets hit with spoon*

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN As fun and interesting as getting dragged out of bed at four in the morning sounds it wasn't all that fun. But now that I'm here I have become a victem of jet-lag. So yeah.. thanks for the telepathic support but, yeah. XD**


	134. Chapter 134: America 5

Iggy,

Does calling me a bloody git count as praise?

Um, wouldn't that kinda mess up the future? And I though we couldn't die. (Iggy: We can't you bloody git!)

DUDE! Don't forget, it's my birthday today! You've still gotta wish me a happy birthday!

your hero,

Alfred F. Jones (America)

P.S: it's long and depressing. I'd rather not talk about it.

* * *

><p>Alfred,<p>

… I called you that? I'm sorry lad, I'm sorry for how I behave towards you in the future. I know he might not admit it but you are a good lad, and my hero in some sense.

Happy birth-day Alfre- Wait. I thought your birth-day w-was October 12... t-that was when Columbus landed r-right?

R-right,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Alfred... Does this by chance have something to do with that changed birth-day of yours?

* * *

><p><strong>AN As far as I know (since I don't celebrate it) Columbus day is October 12. Which is the day Columbus landed in the Carribean.**


	135. Chapter 135: Sam MP 14

Iggy (cause your not a cptian anymore T.T),

A cell? um... dugeon? prison? Dude...

I think you eventually do win agianst him... -thinks- I need to read up in history...

PFFT! Doesn't mean I won't try! -eats a tomato- Ok so I'll stick a bottle of wine on the edge of a ship... then I'll just push him off~

Samantha~

* * *

><p>Samantha,<p>

I'm going to be soon~ I'm headed out to the docks tomorrow to get a ship.

No, I was in a cell on a ship. Being sent back to England because a Spanish ship found me and charged me with piracy.

Okay then.

England

* * *

><p><strong>HISTORY TIME LOOK DOWN BELOW~<strong>

**A/N England is lucky he got off scott-free with his piracy. Some of the punishments include: Hanging, beheading, and other nasty things you can look up on the internet. BUT, pirate punishment via another pirate is a much more colourful repitoire of awful things like marooning, keelhauling and flogging with the cat o' nine tails.**

**Cat of (o') nine tails: A special kind of whip. (Germany approves of this whip ;D) Instead of just one painful piece of painful leather that they hit you with it would be nine pieces of painful leather that they would hit (flog) you with. Sometimes you might get the extra special treatment and they would attach metal balls to the ends of the coils for that extra mmph you need in your flogging that you didn't have before. **


	136. Chapter 136: Russia 3

Dear England,

I could make that happen and I'd bring you with me. I was spending time with my family unlike some!

Mother Russia's will,

Ivan (Russia) Braginski

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

… WILL YOU BELT UP ALREADY! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE COMMENTS ON I BEING AN AWFUL PARENT! If I'm going to be labelled an awful parent I should be told by my own family- not by some freak in a scarf!

'Mother Russia' isn't even a mother. No less a woman.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN If this had been present day I would have written (instead of freak) _"If I'm going to be labelled an awful parent I should be told by my own family- not by a six foot Justin Bieber in a scarf!"_ ... I'm not much of a Bieber fan.. Sorry any body who I might have offeneded. **

**But it's true! Russia has Justin's hair- it's creepy! All he needs to do is die it golden/blonde and he'd be a six-foot-Biebersarus or Bierberzilla.**


	137. Chapter 137: Ohio 9

Dear Scorn,

How did you out smart me again? Cause I've been the one out smartin you for years! Oh your right I've heard from Uncle France that Russia was sooooo cute back then! It's more then a few nations. (smirks). If you slit his I slit yours anything else be damned! No Dad wouldn't avenge you and Uncle France and Russia wouldn't do anything nor would the ex-vikings of the rest of the United Kindom. And no the world wouldn't cause Scottland would take your place. Being a state has more. Whats wanking? I do have a life thief. Oh yeah I heard your going to jail! Oh how the mighty have fallen! Well you were wroung again!

HAHAHAHAHA

Martha (Ohio) Jones

Ps- Scottland wants to talk.

Hey little baby brother getting married just think of all we can do! hahaha! Have fun in jail brother. Also corupt my wife and I will hurt you

-Scottland

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

You spelled wrong incorrectly. I have little need to answer your letters, so I'll try and make this brief:

Go wank yourself for all I care. No one gives a damn if you want to try and make yourself look better than you actually are. What's your educational standard now a days? If you keep on asking me the meanings of these actual words it's going to make you look like a bigger fool than you actually are for arguing with a pirate from the 17th century via messages. Oh yes, and I am not going to jail. I never was going to jail in the first place.

England

P.S. ...Why the bloody hell would I want to touch that thing even with a ten foot pole? It's revolting to say the least if you have dropped your standards that low. What would you do about it anyway? You can't harm me, but I can harm her~

* * *

><p><strong>AN I am unpleasantly surprised England hasn't sailed off to America and stabbed Ohio (as a chibi) yet. I think he's trying not to but then again he's had at least four lectures from his boss and one from Wales. He might just not have the time for it.**


	138. Chapter 138: Zane 7

Dear Uncle,

Mom's not a hag or parasite. Well grampa and my uncles found out that the templars exaped here (Dicovery Chanel). And mom was alive before grampa but was known by a different name then. Mom's still a virgen her people settel in areas and the best country or state its confusing how to word it but it has something to do with her peoples choise. My brain hurts this is also how some of the newer states came into being. Joining blood of the lands or some thing. Whatever.

Wish you well,

Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski

* * *

><p>Nephew,<p>

Oh really? Bugger. She sure does act like one..

That doesn't make the least amount of sense boy. Your talking jibberish.

How the bloody hell is your mother born before her own father? That has no basis in reality whatsoever. And how is she a virgin if she had _you_.

Sure is confusing lad.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN Wait. What? I didn't understand that letter... But I'm sorry for the oddball updates. I'm traveling so I won't get a lot of spare time on my hands. And I should really look up that TemplarsxAmerica because none of it makes sense. SORRY GUYS!**


	139. Chapter 139: Thailand 6

Arthur,

..I thought you had Queens...

Yay!No murder for me!*loud banging noise*oh,sorry,I shot future-France 'accidently' in the..um..vital regions..

(France:OH MY EIFIEL TOWER!*falls dramaticly*)

yeah...everyone else doesn't care...now he's crying.

*smiles cutely*Hehe!:3

Ja-ne!

Thailand-Cam-:D

((Note for Author:Great Job on this!This is how I expect Pirate!Iggy..i might have Mandy send,so watch out for swearing..When's Iggy gonna turn all gentlemen-likeish?))

* * *

><p>Thailand,<p>

It changes. At the moment we have a King.

Good. He deserves it.

Suck it up Frog.

England

* * *

><p><strong>NEED TO READ~<strong>

**A/N I'm glad you like it! But I don't think I'll get that far in history. But I think the range of my skipping around will be from 1691-1760. So I'll cover golden age of piracy through American Revolutionary War. (Be prepared for angst in the American Revolutionary War one.) But if there is anything inparticular you want to hear about PM me and I'll try to include it. **


	140. Chapter 140: India 2

Ah. You haven't? You won't.

Mm-n. I do remember you being concerned about me, very concerned... after bumping off Portugal, of course. Possessive, weren't you?

You don't remember the company named after me? Maybe it was after your time, or a parallel enterprise. I'm not so very sure myself.

No, I don't hate you at all. Future you only killed a few thousand of my people and went all 'you are my colony!' after a bit. He left, of course, after killing even more, but I'm a forgiving country.

And future you is a very interesting person. [smiles] He loves my cooking, what ever you might think of it, for one.

India

[Reviewer's note: Maybe India caught on that character trait, eh? All for sarcasm. Better in Hindi, though~]

* * *

><p>India,<p>

…. what?

Do you mean the East India Trading Company? Aye, but I don't run it.

I did? Ugh. Future me sounds like an over-controlling bastard.

I am most defiantly a fan of your cooking. It's better than hard-tak. Curry~

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN All the English colonies seem to be overly sarcastic. **


	141. Chapter 141: Lottie 2

Captain Kirkland,

Ah, touché (if you'll pardon the French :) ). I hope you get out safely, then. People with common sense are hard to come by.

~Lottie.

* * *

><p>Lottie,<p>

True. Your French is pardoned.

England


	142. Chapter 142: New York 19

Uncle England,

I read a lot when I was little. It sort of got drilled into my brain.

You're suppose to hug back. Honestly, does no one give hugs anymore?

Bruce says hi.

much love,

Elena "New York" Jones

P.S: You're welcome Weaver.

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

Ah... I see. That's surprising a girl knows how to read. Do you know how to write too? Or do you have someone scribe this for you?

Fine. Weaver filled me in with the internet interactions. *hugs back*

Tell Bruce I say hi back.

Arthur "England" Kirkland

P.S. Weaver is telling me to tell you: "Chee hee hee~ thank you~"

* * *

><p><strong>AN Yes! I'm so happy! Aw.. I'm sorry your stuck at home.. :****(**

**But History time!: Back then (and until about the later 1800's) women were not equal to men in education and such. So most of the time they knew household things (cooking, cleaning) but not many knew how to read or write due to a poor academic education. But here on FF us fangirls can spit in the eye of sexism! Woot! **


	143. Chapter 143: Sicily 17

Ciao Arthur,

I see. Has the king yelled at you yet?

Sorry, son, but you can't kill France. We need him alive.

Controlled by no one...except in the bed room. :)

Anyway, how do you talk for so long. I just got a four hour lecture from you on being a "signora corretta" (proper lady).

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

… ugh. I have had four different lectures on being a proper Englishman. I'm trying to get him to understand that pirating spices off of the Spanish is profitable- but he's not one to listen to me yet.

Damn.

Ha-ha-ha~ N-O.

Oh. Now we have something to relate to. Was it from future me?

Si,

England


	144. Chapter 144: AnnouncmentsUSA 6

Iggy,

*sweatdrop* yeah. A couple of times actually. *blush* T-t-thanks Iggy. *hugs*

Yeah. Columbus landed October 12.

your hero,

Alfred F. Jones (America)

P.S: yeah. It does.

* * *

><p>A-Alfred,<p>

Sorry Lad I haven't been able to get to all of your letters of late. Weaver lost her end of the time machine and it took her a while to find it.

Then why is your birthday in July boy?

Thanks.

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. ... Care to tell.

* * *

><p><strong>PLEASE READ. THIS HAS TO DO WITH THE UPDATES.<strong>

**A/N Okay. As this drama is escalating here's what's going to happen: I'm only temporarily back, I'll be gone until Friday/Saturday-ish. I might be able to update tomorrow but just be ready for a little bit of a wait. SORRY!**

**England: Bloody lazy lubber.**

**I-I AM NOT! I'm just in a place where there is no WiFi...**


	145. Chapter 145: Michigan 2

Pirate England

*tsk* Whatever. I confuse a lot of people. S'not like it matters much to you, since technically speaking, YOU'RE not around anymore...

I don't care that you're an island. Ya know why? Cuz my border makes me a freaking bad-a_ mitten...unless you don't know what that is...

I just gotta say this: You Brits over complicate everything. When I was "owned" by the NA, life was a lot more calm and simpler. Just saying. Even though I never really met you before.

Mich.

ME: Really? You've never been to Michigan? owo i love michigan, it's AWESOME~ although this michigan is weird and apathetic-like...but i couldn't think of anything else, so... xD

* * *

><p>Michigan,<p>

Pft- as if, I'm still around, git.

A mitten. How terrifying. I'm shaking in my boots, lad. *sarcasm*

I take pride in confusing simpletons. It keeps me happy.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah... I might have flown through the airport there. But other than that I don't think I have ever been there. That's fine. I don't know any Michigan stereotypes.**


	146. Chapter 146: Lottie 3

Ig,

*gasps* THE PIRATE HAS FEELINGS! Hehe, I'm flattered that you are now a tomato! Al always said I do that to people... OH HE'S HERE! I'll put him on-

IGGSTER! Long time no talk! Its your hero- America! I see Maryland got to you..I taught her how to make people flustered. She's almost as good as me ;) *yawns* Anyways, I wish I could talk to you longer, but I'm a very busy nation. Best wishes bro!

-Alfred F. Jones: The Hero

Tink says hi. She misses you.

-Maryland

* * *

><p>Mary,<p>

Gee.. Thanks lass.

Alfred? It hasn't been all that long.. I wrote back to you earlier. I guess I should visit you soon lad. You're growing up to be such a strong colony. I can't wait till you can make your way through the wild without the savages attacking you.

Tell her she still owes me. She should understand.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>YOU. LOOK DOWN HERE. DOWN I SAY! THERE IS AN ANNOUNCMENT!<strong>

**A/N:****think once I get to three or four hundred letters I'll stop and we'll skip another couple years to the Golden Age of Piracy, so you guys can RP/send in letters as people like: Mary Read, Anne Bonny, Blackbeard (don't know his real name), Captain Calico Jack, and a bunch of other random pirates I'm to lazy to write down!**


	147. Chapter 147: Sam MP 15

Iggy,

Aye... I mean oh.. God I need to stop that!

Piracy hmm~? I think pirates are sexy. -nods furiously- nevermind I KNOW pirates are sexy... well... only the sexy british ones that look like you~

Oh look! There's left over wiskey from the 4th of July, which by the way is America's Independence day~!

-shoots whiskey- bye bye Iggy Wiggy~! *hic*

Sammy~

* * *

><p>Samantha,<p>

Ha. Soon you'll bye breeches and a tri-corner hat.

Er... Sorry lass. Were about three-hundred-ish years apart. So-

…. N-no.. He can't declare independence from me. I-I am the British Empire. No one can can... I simply won't allow it! ... I-I need a drink...

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Depression, whiskey and England don't mix. It's like oil and water... or peanut butter and sardienes.**

**Texas: XP It tasted so bad... **


	148. Chapter 148: Blarney Imp 10

England,

Oh that's scary...

I agree...I wonder how many stories I'll have to tell when in older. Though yours are more likely to be more interesting.

Aw really? That's so cute...I read my sister Kinder und Hausmarchen. Which is a book of German fairy tales.

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>*hic* Impish lassy,<p>

Of course mine are more *hic* interesting! I'm the bloody Kingdom Of England for kings sake! *hic*

T-that bloody wanker.. WHY DID HE DO THAT! English *hic* is the superior language. German is for bloody dogs. *hic*

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN I don't personally think English is the superior language. But I'm trying to keep him in charecter.**


	149. Chapter 149: Russia 4

Dear England,

But you are a bad parent da! Even Ohio say so and that her time being with you was hell on earth. KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL what do you mean a freak in a scarf comrad? KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL. And yes their is a mother Russia.

Mother Russia's will,

Ivan (Russia) Braginski

Ps- my little sunflower is marring a man that isn't me da!

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

I-I am not! I never raised that wench you *hic* bastard.

Oh sorry *hic* I meant a crazy **** in a scarf. My *hic* bad. Spelling error, savvy?

Well. *hic* I thought you were Satan spawn. But apparently *hic* not.

I don't give a rats arse of what Mother *hic* Russia's will is.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. As said comment I wrote two lines above: I don't give a *hic* rats arse.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Iggy the foul-mouthed pirate is not a very likeable guy~ *sing to the tune of Frosty the Snow-man***


	150. Chapter 150: Singapore 9

England! !

I just got a letter from the present you~~~~! You asked me how I was and about the political system and if this place was still as bustling as before and how I was doing and if everything was okay politically and if this place was still busy and how I was and how was politics in the country and if this place was still as fast-paced and how I am right now and..

You know.. There not really much to be happy about..

U r gg hve 2 wait long2 b4 dat cn hppn. You tink so esy ah? Mebbe 4 you esy bt nt 4 me. My ppl alrdy low brth rte and I nt evn interested. Bt wtvr lah, gd job gd job.

.. did I just write all of that in text talk? Oh well, you can ask Weaver to translate.

Singapore

Ps. Stocks..? (searches wiki) oh.. er.. well. Please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe *prays*

* * *

><p>Ever *hic* lovely Singapore,<p>

Well, so *hic* future me doesn't bore you to death- how have you been lass?

I have no bloody *hic* idea what you just wrote. I will ask Weaver the next time she visits.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Nay. I far out of trouble now lass. I be sailing with the ship Gemini. *hic* I 'borrowed' it from the docks and scrubbed the name off so I can't be traced. Any *hic* suggestions for a new pirate ship name?

* * *

><p><strong>ANNOUNCMENTS!<strong>

**A/N "Borrowed" more likely stole. But yeah. PM me for names of what Iggy should name his ship!**


	151. Chapter 151: Japan 9

Asa-san,

Governor? I am afraid you must have been mistaken. I do not govern you. Not then and definitely not now. Please, I wished us to be on closer terms, but not in such a way.

..I suppose I could understand.. Thank you for your ah, interesting explanation. Despite that, I was still me. And am still currently me, therefore I, as me, must hold the responsibility of the actions of me as I do in cases of myself.

Ah, yes. They have both grown to be men that help run their countries. Doitsu-san is very admirable on that aspect and Italia-san admirable on the aspect that.. uh.. he is always very exuberant.

By Thirteen you mean America-san yes? I do know him as well. He has tried to uh, 'loosen me up' however I feel doubtful at his attempts to do so..

Thank you for your understanding.

Japan

Honda Kiku

Weaver-san,

You need not apologize. Your trip must have made you very wary and it is perfectly understandable. I am grateful that my culture has impacted you positively and I assure you, you did not disappoint me.

Thank you for your well wishes. I do feel slightly better now than before, but I will not stop there. I must do my best on my pride and honour as a Japanese man!

Ah! Domo arigato desu! They are very cute. I am sure they will be of use to me in the future during conventions. Once again, I thank you for your kind wishes.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Kiku-san,<p>

Nay, it be not meaning your an actual governor. Just a surname sort of.

I will still not blame you for being you. No matter how much you seem to want me to punish both of you. Savvy?

Oh. Okay. Italy was always a bit... eccentric.

… America.. Yes, t-that's what I mean. S-sorry to confuse you.. (I need another round now...)

N-no problem,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

Nihhon- Sensei,

I'm glad you could understand. I still feel bad about missing your letter though. :p

Good. I hope you make a full recovery soon.

I'm pleased that you like them. I have been making another pair for Greece too. He seems to like cats.

Weaver


	152. Chapter 152: Romi Islands 4

dear England,

i never conqured you... that sounded like something france would say =.=. oh and just so you know i am a girl. so call me Alexia, only in these letters.

Romi

* * *

><p>Lady Alexia,<p>

No. *hic* You never concoured me- AND NEVER WILL BLOODY TAKE DOWN THE BRITISH EMPIRE! *hic*

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	153. Chapter 153: Patches 2

England,

I agree whole heartedly.

I'm pleased to know I have a new penpal, at least. As Matthew is normally busy with meetings, and helping others with their screw ups, it's nice to speak to somebody that doesn't constantly give obnoxious answers that have nothing to do with what was sent.

But, anyhow. Excuse my ranting.

How's the life of a pirate working for you there, Kirkland? Is a pirates life 'the life to live,' or however the kids say it now a'days?

* * *

><p>Patch-*hic*es,<p>

Good.

I'm going to give up on helping others. *hic* ALL THEY DO IS LEAVE.

Y-your ranting is excused. I'm probably doing my fair share as well.

Bloody awful. My life is in shambles. How be you?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN You guys need to remember to sign your names! XD I might start mixing you up if you don't. **

**Texas: It's not you guys. Weaver's just stupid.**

**Says the steryotype of Texas- you're known for your idiocy.**


	154. Chapter 154: Jia 1

**Thank you AcroKatChinaShugo4000 for writing in as Guangzhou!**

* * *

><p>Ni hao(GreetingsHello) Captain Kirkland,

I'm a little province called Guangzhou. Just call me Jìa. Well, I would like to know what living on the waters is like? I've never been.

Anchors Away,

Guangzhou

P.S I'm a girl

* * *

><p>Ello dove! *hiccup*<p>

Huh, never heard of you. But I'm sure some British explorer will find you sooner or later.

Aye, I'm off to murder a little kid *hic* (named chibi!Russia)

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Figures. They're are little a man on this wretched website.

* * *

><p><strong>AN that was not Englands best introduction. But I don't hate FF- Iggy does.**


	155. Chapter 155: Mangary 1

Dear Mr. Pirate Captain England Sir,

I can tell you and Alfred have a 'lil somethin'-somethin' going on between you two. My advice; be quick to act, or somebody could steal him away~

Love,

Daniel Héderváry

A.K.A. Male!Hungary (Mangary)

* * *

><p>Daniel Héderváry,<p>

I do not love that back-stabbing scoundrel mutt. *hic* He causes pain. I do not wish to touch him lest I get infected with his dirty lies. I hate America.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thanks to CrashtheMIGHTY we now have Mangary! (Does he like yuri?)**


	156. Chapter 156: Thailand 7

Arthur,

oh.I see..

He did deserve it..

He's a baby,don't wor-MANDY!PUT THE MACHINE GUN DOWN!D:DON'T SHOOT ALFRED HE'S YOUR FATHER!..excuse me for a bit..

-Blood stains-

*cough*that never happened okay?

Oh,Mandy want's to write...

Dear British ***,

oh,how I want to kill you...

(Cam:Shut up,you dream about him at night)

I DO NOT!WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA!

(Cam:Alfred)

RAAAAHH!

-Pissed!Mandy P. Jones-

hello,it's back to Cam!yeah...OH DEAR GOD!*ducks as computer is chucked at Alfred,who is standing behind her*

J-JA-NE!I'VE REALLY GOT TO GO!

Thailand•Cam•

* * *

><p>…. 'Ello Thailand,<p>

…. Should I bother as to answer. *hic*

Good. A fight. I need to get out of this ** depression.

Dearest Wh** dog,

You disgust me. You and the rest of the states. *hic*

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	157. Chapter 157: New York 20

Uncle England,

No, I write this to. New Jersey taught me how to write.

Thank you Weaver!

I'm not going to tell you what he said back. It would get both of us in trouble.

much love,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

I-I don't bloody care any more.. You and the rest of them will wind up leaving anyway...

**Weaver: You're welcome. I know I'm not one for protecting England from threats and such but I think all the American Independence struck England a hard blow. England's really_ really_ depressed at the moment.**

O-oh. Okay then.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>:P That sucks. Sorry you're stuck there.<strong>


	158. Chapter 158: Sicily 18

Ciao Arthur,

Somehow I don't think you're going to get very far.

That's right. You were seme back then!

Yes, yes it was. Does he not understand that I haven't been a proper lady since 1860?

Sorry this is short. future you is still lecturing me. I feel like I'm five again!

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angelica, *hic*<p>

N-no I didn't. I guess I won't get very far in keeping control of America either.

Belt up wench.

Apparently not. Tell 'im he's a prissy-aristocrat who makes scones taste like foot-shavings. Maybe I'll get him to write a letter back. *hic*

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Only in England can they make scones taste like foot-shavings. (I actually like scones though.) **


	159. Chapter 159: Ohio 10

Dear Scorn,

Don't care and you are the one who taught me English so that means you must be just as bad! Uncle France just told me what that word means you pervert your even worse then France. It makes me wonder if all those stories about pirites raping are true. It does fit you.

(Scottland- England I am so going to kill you for that! Don't make my wife to be a pervert!)

I don't you do. I don't care! You started it and your the fool for writting back. Really cause I heard the Spanish have you in a cell for being a pirite from family.

You Lose!

Martha (Ohio) Jones

* * *

><p>Hi, um. Yeah. It's not England, it's Worldsweaver; The author.<p>

England is busy at the moment, I think he's strangling chibi!Russia or something like that. So yeah, if Russia randomly disappears randomly. It's probably because you drove him to murdering a little kid. How tender hearted he is.

But he'll be back soon, so nary a worry mates, *smiles and winks*

Worldsweaver (aka Weaver)

* * *

><p><strong>AN Uh-oh. Looks like Iggy descided he had had enough of Russia...**


	160. Chapter 160: Zane 8

Dear Uncle,

I know she doen't around you and Prussia. She and dad did some wierd ritual. She just is like California being older then papa but still is his kid. Didn't age as fast I guess? I can't make heads or tails of it to and it is so confusing.

Wish you well,

Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski

Ps- Too bad you well your timw period you missed the fourth. Grampa made mom promise to be good till midnight. It was so funny she couldn't say anything or do anything bad to you without geting in trouble. But after midnight she strapped you down to a rocket and set it of with Scottland before anyone could stop her!

* * *

><p>Zane,<p>

uh huh. Now, let me ask- Why am I your uncle if that means I'm either Russia or Ohio's brother?

*hic* Thanks lad,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. D-don't remind me... Please. Just stop. I-I can't take any more of this talk about America...


	161. Chapter 161: Lottie 4

Captain Kirkland,

So... How are you holding up? Has the Frog or the Spaniard been any more annoying than usual? Any issues where you are? I, personally, am absolutely brilliant.

~Lottie

* * *

><p>Lady Lottie,<p>

Thanks for *hic* addressing me lass. But there is no need.

They haven't been the trouble. It's been America, he- he apparently gets his independence and leaves.

I-I don't know what to do.. I took care of him.. h-he's my little brother. I-I just don't know what to bloody do any more..

I'm glad *hic* you've been fairing well,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN As far as I know 1691 was a pretty peaceful time.**


	162. Chapter 162: London 3

Dad

You're right, you did have to put up with all of us. That and you always had my uncles pestering you XD It was funny watching all of you getting pissed off with each other, we used to take bets on who'd K.O first...it was usually you or Wales.

I don't think that King's bothered about your family life. I'm sure he mentioned it during his long rant on how you've got captured by Spain, but, I stopped listening half way through.

Bye

London (Alexandra)

P.S Glad I'm interesting you, but, I think somethings are best left unsaid.

* * *

><p>Lass,<p>

Glad I could get to visit you when I came back into London, your so young and adorable~ I'm surprised you know how to write- but then again, you are older I guess where you come from.

Ha. Back where I am Wales, Ireland and Scotland go down first. Being a *hic* pirate has it's advantages.

Ah. I see. I wasn't really listening much either. French cream-puffs are so much more inviting than an angry old king~ *hic*

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Not just interesting lass, I love talking to *hic* relatives.


	163. Chapter 163: Philipines 1

Dear Mr. England

Umm... kamusta na po! You might not know me, but I know a lot about you from all the stories Alfred tells me. I don't have much to say po, but I hope you can write back soon.

Mahal kita (in a friendly way),

The Philippines

(Translations:

Kamusta Na- How are you? ((I think, this is from the top of my head))

Po- kind of a honorific/friendly type of name to call someone

Mahal Kita- I love you)

* * *

><p>Madam Philippines,<p>

No need for calling me Mr. lass, 'makes me sound like some bloody aristocrat.

I'll try and *hic* write back as soon as I can. ;)

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you, 2bblue101 for joining the letter-thingy!<strong>


	164. Chapter 164: California 1

Dear Uncle Iggy,

Both: Northern and Southern california here!

S: Uncle Iggy?

N: You were...

B(oth): a pirate?

S: No way! hahahahaha, i bet you look drop-dead gorgeous! How about you get over here and we can-

N: Sorry! Sorry, sorry. She got into my wine, and not the cheapy stuff i keep around the house, my personal wine cellar! She drank about half of my French wine. If she wasn't my twin, i'd kill her. *growls*

S: oh come off it, northy! you know you want to see Uncle iggy in a pirate outfit! you loved his waiter costume, heeheeheee...

N: *blushes* N-NO I DIDN'T! *sighs* sorry. Again. Just wanted to say hi. Just... nevermind.

Lots of love,

SoCal and NorCal

* * *

><p>Dearest North and South Carolina,<p>

I have no idea who you are. But- *reads the rest of the letter*

Er... Nay. I don't know where you are... so I'd prefer to stay where I am. Though if I did know where you were... *sarcasm*

But 'Ello doves,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Sorry guys- but I'll have to bid you adieu for now! (so far as I know) I'll try and update tomorrow and I know I'll be able to update Sunday. So cie la vie! ("that's life" Something France might say.)**


	165. Chapter 165: Iggy's deamon sis 1

**A/N Thank you random person for writing in as Iggy's Deamon Sis(ter)!**

* * *

><p>oh hi big brother from the past so how it like being a pirate it must be sooooooo cool anyway you must be so strong and big defeating everyone with your power and how is it back there in that time<p>

* * *

><p>B-BLOODY HELL- IT'S YOU!<p>

Well, my daemon side is back, eh? Thought I tide you to a cannon and cast you into the brink last time...

Oh, well.. thanks. You seem to have calmed down since the last time I saw you. Sorry about yelling at you like that. It's so bloody cold out.

Thanks for writing,

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	166. Chapter 166: Brazil 1

To Mr. Kirkland,

S-so I heard that you were accepting letters! Yeah... how are you, sir?

-Beatriz Victorica Silva

aka Brazil, colony of Portugal

[ OOC: Hi~ :D warning: I am playing "Teen!Snapped!Brazil" ]

* * *

><p>To Ms. Beatriz Victorica Silva,<p>

Aye. I be accepting letters lass.

No need for sir. Your not my crew. But I could be better, I have a Russian child on board with me. How have you been faring?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for writing in as Brazil, Bloodneko02. (awesome pen-name by the way)<strong>


	167. Chapter 167: Blarney Imp 11

England,

Captain again I see? Oh, and drunk...fun, fun, fun.

I'm not quite sure how to respond to that.

Maybe you should ask him about it. Oh, bloody dogs eh? I can live with that.

Blarney-Imp

* * *

><p>Blarney-Imp,<p>

Not any more, though I think my head is about to explode with this blasted hangover. I'm a Captain though. I 'commandeered' a ship so to speak.

Oh. Sorry.. I didn't mean your brother. I meant my brother. I have a tendency to rant when I get drunk.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>I love German. (Though the only German I know are swears... XD)<strong>


	168. Chapter 168: London 4

dear England,

you're drunk arent you? i would never deam of taking you down. unless i'm playing a game called risk, it's a game that people in my time play, the goal is to capture as much of the 'world' as you can. but like i said it's a game. Alfred lost to romano. he 'became one with Italy' so to speak. HA! i hope you have a very nice day.

Alexia

* * *

><p>Alexia,<p>

Ha~ He lost to that toddler. Good for Romano. Alfred needs putting in his place sometimes. The git. But it sounds like an interesting game. I play a lot of gambling and dice games.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN though there wasn't much else to lose if you were on a ship; dice games were popular. **


	169. Chapter 169: Russia 4

Dear England,

Yes you did da. What did you call me and my sunflower? KOLKOLKOL! You are drunk again da? I am going to get you back for what you said about me and me sunflower da. KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL!

Mother Russia's will,

Ivan (Russia) Braginski

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

Said 'sunflower' abandoned you for a potato-eating idiot. And I wouldn't be to harsh with that tongue o' yer's. Lest I cut it out.

Mother Russia can go *** herself for all I care.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Not Germany. (Ireland apperently)**


	170. Chapter 170: California 2

Dear Uncle Iggy,

Both: Hello again!

N: sorry for not introducing ourselves properly-

S: but we're California, from the

N: ** West Coast! we are the third largest state,

S: we have the most population,

N: we are the 31st state out of fifty,

S: we were owned by Spain for a while, but that comes later,

B: and you're right, you probably don't know us!

N: How come future you never tells ust about...

S: you? Pirate!England?

B: Personally, we think pirates are awesome!

N: Write back soon!

S: Love you!

B: BYE!

* * *

><p>Dear Doves,<p>

Ha, so much information. Thank you for informing me though.

My future me doesn't do that much, does he.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN California is the third biggest state, as North California pointed out. The only bigger ones are Texas and Alaska.**

**Texas: YEAH! I'm the biggest state!**

**Alaska: you do relize I'm more than twice your land-mass. Right?**

**Texas: That's what she said. XD**

**A/N: Okay, while those to are off fighting over who's the bigger st-**

**Alaska: IT'S ALASKA!**

**Texas: NO! It's TEXAS! EVERYTHIN' BIGGER IN TEXAS!**

**Alaska: Even your idiots?**

**Texas; YEA- wait. What?**

**A/N: DON'T INTERUPT ME EVER AGAIN.**

**Alaska/Texas: O.O**


	171. Chapter 171: Ohio 10

Dear A**hat

You lobster basterd son of a heathen! Stop trying to kill people that I can tolerate. Unlike you I can handle stuff apearently! Do you know that you will go to hell lad? Looks like all the stories about pirites are true you really are murdering, raping basterds!

Have fun in hell!

Martha (Ohio) Jones

ps- next time I see you I will ring your neck.

* * *

><p>Dearest Ohio,<p>

I would change that tone your speaking to me with lass, lest you want something bad to happen to Russia~

If I'm the one going to hell I pity where ever your going to end up.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I couldn't care less. You can only harm future me.

* * *

><p><strong>CONFUSION ANYONE?<strong>

**A/N Okay, for all of you who are conused about whats going on here: **

**P!Iggy (piggy XD) obducted Chibi!Russia and is going to hold him and possibly harm him unless you guys do something.**

**Ohio is being... Ohio.**

**Some of the other charecters are off in there own RPG sometimes.**

**And Russia is in deep *** unless you guys convince Piggy to let him (as a chibi, 'cause he was still young at the time Piggy was around) go.**

**Again, the rules of life apply here: You guys can harm Piggy, but you can harm present day Iggy. So it won't do any damage to Piggy.**

**Piggy: My name isn't Piggy you wench!**


	172. Chapter 172: Zane 9

Dear Uncle,

Thats a silly quistion da! Mom used to be your little sister when you took her away from her other big brothers da! I heard you rant about it one time when you were drunk that she should have been and still should be happy about being your little sister. Mom walked in and heard you at some point and knocked you out with a crowbar! What did grampa do now?

Wish you well,

Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski

Ps- any idea why mom's trying to ring your neck now while yelling at you in Latin?

* * *

><p>Zane,<p>

Your mother is a crazy ****. I guess she takes after Russia. And that's disgusting; didn't you say she used to have a crush on me?

Thanks, you too, (your the only sane one in that family)

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. No idea.


	173. Chapter 173: India 3

Mm-hm. Not just him, but France, too. And Netherlands, but I suppose he left pretty soon.

Keep your wits about you. France will be coming along to stake his claim. Awful fistfight, but I'm going to tell you something: you win. [smiles]

Well, he /was/ an over-controlling bastard, as you very nicely put it, but he did give me English - how else would I write this letter? - and telegraphs and trains and all those neat things you probably don't know about, poor you. But they'll come along.

You're welcome to spend the summers at my place, though. The mosquitoes are terrible but the rivers are still cold and fresh, unlike the sticky smelly Thames. (Well, if it isn't so yet, it will soon be.)

And I know you like hunting; the forests are full of good game. Just don't kill too many of my tigers. They're my pets, and I dare say I'll get plenty nasty ideas if you kill them all.

And you ought to have told past me if you liked her cooking... Drop by this summer, there's an extremely spicy biryani waiting! (I remember cooking it, and your response. Not giving out too much, but my boss will tease you about it for hours.) [laughs]

Do write back!

India

* * *

><p>India,<p>

Well, there's my new knowledge for today.

Ha. Of course I win! That bloody frog is a weak git.

What the bloody hell is a train. I know enough Latin to deduce what a telegraph is but what is a train?

The Thames is nasty enough. I can't wait to see how it is in three-hundred years. *sarcasm*

I envy you lass. Right now I'm stuck near the Arctic Circle with a whining child Russia. I can practically smell the spices~ *sighs*

I'm going to go get some hard-tak...

I am!

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>HISTORY TIME!<strong>

**A/N Just so you guys know: Hard-tak is common pirate food. because it never goes bad. It's pretty much bread that's been baked so much you could use it as a hockey puck. (joking, don't acctually use it as a hockey puck, you could kill someone with it) But pirates would dunk it in soup or water, like a bisscotti. **


	174. Chapter 174: London 5

Dad,

I am older in this time. A lot changes by the way.

I can imagine Wales going down, maybe Scotland, but Ireland? He's so badass in my time, well a few years ago he was. He's slowly calming down.

How pissed were you when you wrote that letter, you were complimenting french food.

London (Alexandra)

P.S Some relatives more than others.

* * *

><p>Alexandra,<p>

So I've heard.

ha. Ireland.. what the bloody hell does badass mean?

Yeah. I was a tad off my rocker. Sorry lass,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Aye. That be correct.

* * *

><p><strong>AN You guys should watch your words, just 'cause they exist now adays doesn't mean they existed back then. That's why Piggy writes funny.**

**Piggy: It's not funny, it's English youu git!**

**A/N and pirate slang.**


	175. Chapter 175: Iggybrows 1

iggybrows ... lol XXDDD

* * *

><p>DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT.<p>

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thanks 101Icestormxx for writing in!**


	176. Chapter 176: Mangary 2

Dear Mr. Pirate Captain England Sir,

As a very wise threesome of small girls with super powers once sang: Love, love, love, la-la-love~, la-la-love~, makes the world go 'round!

Love,

Daniel Héderváry

* * *

><p>Daniel,<p>

Never heard that before.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I like the name you chose for Mangary. It suits him.**


	177. Chapter 177: America 7

Iggy,

It's fine ^-^

It's complicated.

your hero,

Alfred F. Jones (America)

P.S: Do I have to?

* * *

><p>Alfred,<p>

… Good.

So I've heard.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. No. Never mind. I don't want to hear it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Looks like your forgiven America. AND YOU LOST THE WORLD CUP! HA! JAPAN BEAT YOU!**

**America: ... *cries***


	178. Chapter 178: New York 21

Uncle England,

*head desk* No again. Have some rum Uncle Iggy.

Who told you?

much love,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>Elena,<p>

No thanks... I don't want to drink ever again...

Other than every bloody country and person that has been sending me letters?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN It's true though, most of you have hinted and/or out right told Piggy about America's revolution.**


	179. Chapter 179: Sicily 18

**A/N: I'M SO HAPPY THAT JAPAN WON THE WORLD CUP! Chee hee hee~ now I don't owe anyone~ **

* * *

><p>Ciao Arthur,<p>

Why are we talking about America?

NEVER! XD

I wish he did. Perhaps I should have given him some wine~

Amore,

Angelica Vargas (Italia Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Angel,<p>

Never mind, some things came up.

Bloody belt up already! *sarcasm*

Don't get me drunk. You won't enjoy the results..

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	180. Chapter 180: Philipines 2

Dear Captain England,

Ahh...I'm sorry po. I'll just refer to you as Captain England or England, po. Alfred told me sometimes you can really get drunk. Wait...Captain England, don't tell me you're drunk. Being drunk isn't good for your physical health. Even if Alfred left you during the revolution (sorry for mentioning this), you still have little America waiting for you back home...wherever you want to consider home since he isn't a country...yet.

Be strong!

The Philippines

* * *

><p>Dear Ms. Philippines,<p>

No need, I'm trying to forget that he left. And you have a point, Thirteen hasn't left yet. It's just one of those things that nags at the back of your mind.

You too,

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	181. Chapter 181: Singapore 10

To the Paternal Figure.

Are you drunk again..?

Why, if I may know is that the case? Why? Are you trying to be a Bad Influence on me for the future? As your future daughter, please refrain yourself. I'm sure you have some notion of self-control. Don't you have an Image to keep up? Captain?

Seriously, you're very emotional about him aren't you. How nice to know that. You didn't even come to my independence day after you left me with Malaysia and then I got kicked out. Happieeeeee... Sometimes, I can really just hit someone on the head with my small metal bar when I see your bias towards your colonies. Sorry, Ex-colonies. Oh did that hurt? My absolute apologies. I lie at your feet begging for forgiveness. *sarcasm*

You can be so blind towards anyone that is not him, it's verging on pathetic. How shameful. Get over it. I am sick of you crying and drinking and being an absolutely unproductive blob of a nation due to one thing. If you want to be so unproductive, you might as well die so that you don['t hinder the people who ARE or at least trying to be productive. I would appreciate them ten times more than a useless, wasteful, pathetically needy blob of a nation. Really, how disgraceful. You've fallen so far. Say do you have an eye-patch? Nice to know that sometimes the outside does compliment the inside! Maybe you might want to get another one though, to give a clearer picture.

Yes, the future you can be boring. You must be proud of your achievements to reach that stage. I applaud you. Really. Remind me the reason that I- oh wait, I remember. Filial Piety. Right.

You don't need to ask Weaver. It basically means I'm not interested, and suggests your less than doubtful promiscuity for having it 'so easy'. I'm just saying.

PMSing!Republic of Singapore

Ps, Out of trouble? How nice. A name? How about Failing Grace. Seems to suit your situation.

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

I thought you were almost crying about getting angry at me a couple letters ago.

I don't want to argue with you. Majulah Singapura.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Great. Thanks dearest.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Majulah Singapura means Onward Singapore. (as far as I know) It's their motto.**


	182. Chapter 182: Japan 10

Asa-san,

A surname? I am afraid I still do not comprehend. My sir name is Honda. Have you forgotten? I have always signed it at the bottom of my letters to you.

Please do not go and punish er, me. I was very unstable at that time. It would be very regrettable if you sustain injuries due to that cause.

Italia-kun is very special and unique. I hope we both wish him to always be cheerful. I would not like to come into long contact with a morose Italia.

Asa-san? Are you alright? I apologise if I brought up something painful. Please do not resort to drink.. It causes irrationality and may be very harmful.. I suppose by the time this reaches you it would be too late though. Although you are not the Asa-san in my time, does not mean I am not concerned on your well being.

Please take care of yourself.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Weaver-san,<p>

Please do not feel so. It troubles me that it weighs so heavily on your mind.

I will try my best!

Girisha-san does like cats. He keeps many of them with him in his house. I am sure he will appreciate it.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Kiku-san,<p>

Never mind. Ask future me. He'll be able to explain it better.

Nay, I'll try not to. Don't worry.

I can't really picture that lad being depressed.

I'm fine now, nary a worry mate. And I apologize with the length of this letter. Weaver is all exited about some game going on in Germany and wants to write- *gets punted out of his seat*

* * *

><p>Kiku-sensei,<p>

Don't worry! I'll be fine!

EEEPP! JAPAN! YOU WON THE WORLD CUP! *hugs* I'm so happy for you~!

Good. Are you in Germany watching the women's Fifa world cup? (I'm so exited about Japan winning)

I gave them to him, he fell asleep wearing them~

Weaver


	183. Chapter 183: Lottie 5

Captain Kirkland,

Eh, what can I say? You've raised me to be entirely too polite. Unless I've been hitting the rum. *winces*

*pats back tentatively* It's okay. You'll get through it eventually. I mean, it's not like he's dead or something... if that helps at all...

J-just don't become too much of an alcoholic... America doesn't become independent for a while, and he still needs you as a big brother now.

~Lottie

* * *

><p>Lottie,<p>

Ah. I see, sorry that future me is such a an old bag.

Nay. I'm fine. Weaver has been trying to make me forget it so I don't try and strangle Thirteen the next time I see 'im.

Thanks lass,

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	184. Chapter 184: France 1

Omg this is so epic! Oh poor poor Iggy!

... What the hell, I'll climb aboard this bandwagon!

Ma belle-Angleterre,

So I have heard from a little birdie that l'Angleterre of the past is taking letters! Perhaps I can... change the course of our relationship, eh mon amour?

I wish to thank Mademoiselle Weaver for discovering time travel. Perhaps we could "meet up" sometime, non?

Reading through the letters I have discovered that I have just sunk the Viper. Bon pour moi que vous ravageurs anglais!~

I do understand that Angleterre is not LEARNED in the languege of Love so, as to prevent your shaggy blond head from exploding, I'll translate.

Ma belle-Angleterre-My beautiful England ;3

Mon amour-My love.

Bon pour moi que vous ravageurs anglais-Good for me you English pest!

Angleterre-...Mon amour if you don't know what this is by now I may have to personally see to it that it's POUNDED into you.~

Beaucoup d'amour,

France XOXO

* * *

><p>Bloody Frog-face,<p>

FRANCE. WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU HERE? I THOUGHT WE HATED EACH OTHER?

You git! You sank my ship- the next time I see you in that bloody girls dress of yours I'm going to wring that froggy throat of yours!

Bloody hell, I'm not /that/ dumb France. I'm smarter than you to say the least.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Ha. I love you. (not that I like FrUK, but I'm interested in seeing where this will go) Thanks: MidniteDancer for being our favorite pervert; France!**

**France: You called mon ami? ;3**

**Piggy: Go away Frog-face!**


	185. Chapter 185: Iggy's Deamon sis 2

THAT WAS YOU i almost lost my mind but here in the futer your a lot nicer and dont hurt your family that was hurtful but hows your ship

* * *

><p>Daemon sister,<p>

My ship is fine, I'm still interested in hearing what you lads and lasses think I should name it though. Sorry 'bout the misunderstanding there lassy..

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN There are so many spellings for daemon. I prefer (and it's old English) 'Daemon' but 'demon' and 'Deamon' are also used. **


	186. Chapter 186: James Walker 1

**Thanks to: 'TheSuccessors' we now have someone writing in from the _~future~_**

* * *

><p>Sir Kirkland,<p>

Good day Sir! I was absolutely thrilled to hear of you still being contactable in some way, given that... Oh never you mind about that, I shall address the matter at a later time.

My name is James Walker, proud gentleman of her Majesty's England. I blinking hate the weather here, though. How're the seas like where you're at, Sir?

The reason why I'm writing to you is because something happens in the far future from 1691... Who one knows why, but... How should I phrase this? In the Future, the governments of America, England, France, Russia, China, Italy, Germany (and Prussia, for some reason) and Japan decide it's high time for you chaps to be replaced... Fabricating some drivel about the lot of you sticking too much to your old-fashioned ways. Rubbish in my point of view.

Yet, here I am. They chose one successor for each nation, one young citizen from each country, to be trained as the new representative of each country. Each predessor is and will continue to be around, of course, mostly to guide the Successors. So I suppose we'll get to know each other a lot better in the future, since I was chosen as one of them.

I don't have a blinking clue as do what to do, or how I even feel about this whole mess, considering none of us had much of a choice. What do you think of all this?

Warm Reguards,

James Walker, the young representative of England.

* * *

><p>James Walker,<p>

The weather is too bloody cold out. I've just finished sailing up and around Russia to get into the Pacific but at the time being there have been a lot of hazardous icebergs. At the moment I'm heading down South. But I understand how you feel, lad. The weather is awful.

That's a tad bleak. What happens to the replaced nations?

I don't know really. Have you tried talking people out of it?

Thanks, you too mate,

Captain Arthur Kirkland


	187. Chapter 187: Neva 1

captain kirkland,

hello, my name is Neva I am of 12 years of age.

help! my ship is being attacked! we cant tell who it is, I understandand that your ship is in the southern part of the pacific correct? we are close by! *page is slighly brunt*

damn! the cabins' caught fire!

help us mate!

awaiting your help,

Neva

* * *

><p>Captain Neva,<p>

I'm now just entering the Southern part of the Pacific. When I see smoke, I'll come. I'll thankful that I 'bought' a fast ship.

Just try and keep the fire at bay till I find you,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>AN Finally! Someone from Arty's time period! XD Thanks neva-chanluvsmonsters101 for writing in!**


	188. Chapter 188: Bella 1

**Gracias Loudheart14!**

* * *

><p>Mr. Kirkland<p>

Hello, I am Isabella N. Mendicino. Please do not cure at me sir, for I find it very scary.

I hope you don't mind if I ask you some quesions?

1. Can I be a pirate-I mean privateer? It seems appealing -innocent brown eyes-

2. You are you so cool? Like, seriously. You're just awesome.

3. Why am I very tempted to try your food, even though everyone I've met says it's poison?

I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway -sniffles- I hope you don't yell at me.

Hope to hear from you,

Isabella N. Mendicino

P.S.~ You can call me Bella if you wish, since it's easier to say, no?

* * *

><p>Dear Dove,<p>

Nay, I won't curse at you dove.

1. If you're wary of me swearing you'll have a hard time dealing with the stereotype: 'Swears like a sailor'

2. Thanks lassy, you flatter me.

3. That's only what uncultured people say. British cuisine is terrific!

None of it offended me dove, nary a worry.

Hope to hear back,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I have called you 'dove' if you don't mind. It's a habit.

* * *

><p><strong>AN So many letters... so little time...**


	189. Chapter 189: Mass Letters 4

**A/N Okay, since you guys have gotten so far ahead of me I'm going to do a couple mass letters till I catch up.**

* * *

><p>Dear England,<p>

My sunflower will never leave me your brother has just tricked her into marrying him. My sunflower would never leave me right da? If he takes her away from me I will kill him da! KOLKOLKOL. If you threaten me again I will cut out yours da!

Mother Russia's will,

Ivan (Russia) Braginski

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

Your Sunflower is a conniving evil wench. She'd leave you at the drop of a hat. And if you dare touch my brother I'm afraid you'll find it _very_ difficult to walk in the future when I've finished detaching your toes.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. You 'Kol's' sound a lot less intimidating through mail.

* * *

><p><strong>LETTER DE SECOND<strong>

Dear Frenchie ( cause thats how you act son of a ***!)

If you hurt Russia Iwill some way some how find you torture you and kill you when your begging for death your in so much pain. If you go to hell for being a bastard I go to heaven for saving god from having to deal with you for years to come.

Go to Hades,

Martha (Ohio) Jones

Ps- do you want me to cut off your ** or bomb you first?

Pss-I diped the letter in poisin brfore I sent it!

* * *

><p>Dear wannabe England, (cause that's how you act you w***.)<p>

I highly doubt god will put up with the likes of you.

A bit of a religious switch hm? From hell to Hades is a pretty big leap. I'm surprised your smart enough to write about that.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Well considering I don't know what a bomb is, and the fact that Ohio hardly has it's own military force you'd have to convince Thirteen to attack me (which I doubt he would considering that I have been writing to him as a friend) I'd chose the latter of those options. So I in turn ask you; would you like to Russia's fingers or toes cut off first? Or maybe I could keelhaul 'im.

P.P.S. It's a good thing I never touch these letters then, Weaver does, she just sends me a re-written copy.

* * *

><p><strong>VERY IMPORTANT. MUST READ.<strong>

**A/N O.O; O-okay... *cough* Crap.. I thought I would get through more letters today... L-let me explain how t-these letters work before I get sent to the h-hospital... You guys send them to me via letters, fanfiction, or whatever and I have to re-write it and send it to t-the pirate. And then he s-sends them back to me... and I post them..**

***spits blood, turns blue and falls over***

**Piggy: Holy *** you killed the author! I knew Ohio was evil!**


	190. Chapter 190: Authors note, please read

Dearest Dove,

As for the time being I'm going to put these letters on hold, aparently Weaver doesn't have a backbone and won't continue writing while the imminent danger of being kicked off of Fanfiction looms over her head. So what I'm getting at are there are these bloody bastards running around on this thing Weaver called the 'internate' (I have nary an idea how to spell it.) and they're 'flaming' letters or anything they deem unworthy of this 'website'.

If you want to grow some hair on your chest (unless your a lass, then you can... um... get a backbone.) yyou can sign this petition for the access of interactive stories. So, I think Weaver will put the 'link' up in her half of the letter, so I might as well give you something to cheer you up:

Give yerself a good pat on the back lad (or lass), you've made history more popular and have probably shifted some of it too. And I'm not thanking everyone I'm thanking you. And I'm being specific; I mean you. So go make history.. or.. whatever be your desire... yeah.

Faithfully serving King William III in the great year of 1691,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p>Dear Reader,<p>

yes, for now I'm putting these letters on hold. I'm sorry. But with the CU, LU, etc pressure is building. So here's the link: www .petitiononline .com/848ryas/petition .html

I want to thank everyone of you for making this hisorical letter thing so popular. I couldn't do it without each and everyone of you. But if your looking to here more about Iggy and his piraty adventures go back to my profile and read 'Steampunk'. As it's name suggests, it's set in 19th century England where we have everyone's favorite pirate starring as a swashbuckling aero-ship pirate!

Again, thanks.

Your faithful Author,

Weaver


	191. Chapter 191: I'm Back! Mass letter

**GUESS WHO'S BACK BABY!**

**England: Me?**

**Well... yeah... but I'm back too! X(**

**England: Sure, but your mentality sure as hell isn't.**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Zane:<span>**

_Dear Uncle,_

_Mom isnt a female dog da. Why would you say that? How can mom take after dad? And Uncle was the one who told you that da! Though she would rather kill you now da._

_Wish you well,_

_Zane (Russia, Ohio) Jones-Braginski_

_Ps- some of my brother and sisters are still sane._

_Pss- any idea why mom is gathering bombs and sharpening knifes with a creepy smile. Its starting to creep me out now._

Zane,

Yes. Yes she is. Have you read some of the things she has done? She's a sadistic ***. You confuse me lad.

Thanks, you too lad,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. That be good.

P.P.S No idea. But since she can't harm me I don't really care.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Blarney-Imp:<span>**

_England,_

_Yes, that tends to happen...the hangover thing. 'Commandeer'? Interesting..._

_I have a sister, and you said German is for bloody dogs. If you were insulting my sister I wouldn't be so nonchalant about the matter._

_Blarney-Imp_

Blarney Imp,

Aye. But I'm over that now.

Well I am not commenting on your sister, am I dove. But I do agree, I have a couple of sisters (one is a daemon).

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>Daniel:<strong>

_Dear Mr. Pirate Captain England Sir,_

_Oh yes right of course I do belive the Power Puff Girls are a little bit ahead of your time... Well, even if you don't like America, he likes you~ I'm guessing you like France (you dirty sea dog you~ ;D [That's a winky face by the way]). Spread the love! Have babies! Be wonderful~_

_Love,_

_Daniel Héderváry_

Daniel,

Er... no. I despise France. He left me stranded recently. But aye, I know what a winking emotoconotion is. Weaver has informed me. And Thirteen? Of course I like Thirteen, he's my colony in the first place.

….Er..

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>America:<strong>

_Iggy,_

_Yay~ *pouts* I can't glomp you through letters..._

_I can't believe Japan beat me at the world cup!_

_AH! I gotta go! I can't be late for the meeting!_

_your hero,_

_Alfred F. Jones (America)_

_P.S: ^-^_

Alfred,

Sorry lad, I'll give Thirteen a hug and maybe you'll be able to remember it.

What the bloody hell is a world cup?

Blasted meetings. I've been skipping them for the last couple weeks.

Aye, Lamb,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Ha, you too lad.

* * *

><p><strong>AN I apologise to all you awesome people out there who probably hate me since I haven't updated these in a while... *sniffs* You guys have no idea how much I've missed you all...**

**Piggy: While the wench grovels on 'bout how she misses ye I'm here to welcome myself back with a drink~**

**Oh no you don't... *takes bottle of rum***


	192. Chapter 192: Mass Letter 6

**Sammy:**

_Iggy,_

_Breeches... oh you mean pants! wow... i just learned what keelhauling ment a couple of weeks ago and now... that word... you Brits are strange..._

_hahaha~! oh well~ the "gentleman" in my time is also sexy~ expecially when he blushes~!_

_but he does... and I'm a proud american~! -poutyface- plus I wouldnt have my awesome southern accent if You changed that..._

_Sammy~_

Sam,

Aye. I mean pants. And aye, keelhauling is not the nicest thing to do to someone. (Especially when you haven't cleaned your ship for barnacles in a couple moons.)

…. Ah. I see...

Doesn't that mean your in Spanish territory if your from the South?

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>New York:<strong>

_Uncle England,_

_I'll remind you of that next time you start._

_Well everything works out for the better. It only takes a little over 200 years for that to happen. Ask Dad if you want to know more. :)_

_much love,_

_Elena "New York" Jones_

Dove,

Ha. I'll try and remember, tell me if I remember this.

Sigh.. I just hope this doesn't change how history..

Write to you soon lassy,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong><span>Norway:<span>**

_Captain Kirkland,_

_It has been quite a while since we last talked, how are you faring? Do you still sail one of those galleons? I must say that, personally, I prefer rowing. But how is your... privateering coming along? I quite miss the Viking era, though at least I still have correspondence with all of the dragons, faeries, trolls, ghouls, unicorns and other creatures I met._

_Din Sant,_

_Lukas Bondevik_

_Norway_

Master Lukas,

It has lad! I be fairing well, how about yerself? Aye, I still be sailing. And nary a worry about the 'P' word, the secret's out.

Fair thee well,

Captain Arthur Kirkland

* * *

><p><strong>Utah:<strong>

_Dear Uncle 'Captain' Iggy,_

_Hi! I'm one of America's 50 states. The 45th to be exact! Dad's been wanting me to do something other then hiking all the time, so when I saw you were excepting letters I was thrilled!_

_Oh, I guess I might as well tell you some things about me before I really say anything! My names Nicole, call me Nick though, Jones. I don't have two last names like some of my siblings though, 'cause I was never claimed by France or Spain! Erm... I have to say, I'm nothing like our dad now, but since ya don't know what he is like now, I'll tell ya!_

_He's annoying. Yep, that sums up dad!_

_And I've always wanted to ask you about your days as a pirate, but your modern self would tell me nothing! (England: I HEARD THAT! Utah: O.o) so I would like to ask, have you ever... Injured someone just to get truesure or whatever your looking for?_

_Love,_

_Nicole Jones ~ The Great State of Utah_

_P.S - I sent along a bag of Dorito's. They may look weird, but they taste delicious!_

Nick 'Great state' of Utah,

Brilliant to hear that your exited. Sorry that I haven't been able to write back to you of late.

Never claimed by the Frog or the Tomato-head? Brilliant! So I'm guessing you were English territory?

Annoying. Thanks for the warning lassy.

Ha, I'll be glad to answer any question you have las … Aye. I have. But I am not proud of it.

Captain Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Dorito's? Hm. Thanks lass. Do they keep well for long distance trips?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There aren't many historical facts about how long Doritos last.. but if any of you have any idea about how long Doritos keep, cuz it might be a funny spinn off to see how long it takes Piggy to get through a bag of Doritos. XD**


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